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- 22 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
of shame!* And we shall all come forth, without shame and
shall stand before him. And He will say unto us, 'Ye are swine,
made in the Image of the Beast and with his mark; but come
ye also!' And the wise ones and those of understanding will say,
'Oh Lord, why dost Thou receive these men?' And He will say,
'This is why I receive them, oh ye wise, this is why I receive
them, oh ye of understanding, that not one of them believed
himself to be worthy of this.' And He will hold out His hands
to us and we shall fall down before him . . . and we shall weep
. . . and we shall understand all things! Then we shall understand
all! . . . and all will understand, Katerina Ivanovna even . . .
she will understand. . . . Lord, Thy kingdom come!" And he
sank down on the bench exhausted, and helpless, looking at no
one, apparently oblivious of his surroundings and plunged in
deep thought. His words had created a certain impression; there
was a moment of silence; but soon laughter and oaths were
heard again.
"That's his notion!"
"Talked himself silly!"
"A fine clerk he is!"
And so on, and so on.
"Let us go, sir," said Marmeladov all at once, raising his
head and addressing Raskolnikov — "come along with me . . .
Kozel's house, looking into the yard. I'm going to Katerina
Ivanovna — time I did."
Raskolnikov had for some time been wanting to go and he
had meant to help him. Marmeladov was much unsteadier on
his legs than in his speech and leaned heavily on the young man.
They had two or three hundred paces to go. The drunken man
was more and more overcome by dismay and confusion as they
drew nearer the house.
"It's not Katerina Ivanovna I am afraid of now," he mut-
tered in agitation — "and that she will begin pulling my hair.
What does my hair matter! Bother my hair! That's what I say!
Indeed it will be better if she does begin pulling it, that's not
what I am afraid of . . . it's her eyes I am afraid of . . . yes, her
eyes . . . the red on her cheeks, too, frightens me . . . and her
breathing too. . . . Have you noticed how people in that disease
breathe . . . when they are excited? I am frightened of the
children's crying, too. . . . For if Sonia has not taken them food
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