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- 30 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
advance when she took the place as governess in their family, on
condition of part of her salary being deducted every month, and
so it was impossible to throw up the situation without repaying
the debt. This sum (now I can explain it all to you, my precious
Rodya) she took chiefly in order to send you sixty roubles,
which you needed so terribly then and which you received from
us last year. We deceived you then, writing that this money
came from Dounia's savings, but that was not so, and now I tell
you all about it, because, thank God, things have suddenly
changed for the better, and that you may know how Dounia
loves you and what a heart she has. At first indeed Mr, Svidrigai-
lov treated her very rudely and used to make disrespectful and
jeering remarks at table. . . . But I don't want to go into all those
painful details, so as not to worry you for nothing when it is
now all over. In short, in spite of the kind and generous be-
haviour ofMarfa Petrovna, Mr. Svidrigailov's wife, and all the
rest of the household, Dounia had a very hard time, esp>ecially
when Mr. Svidrigai'lov, relapsing into his old regimental habits,
was under the influence of Bacchus. And how do you think it
was all explained later on? Would you believe that the crazy
fellow had conceived a passion for Dounia from the beginning,
but had concealed it under a show of rudeness and contempt.
Possibly he was ashamed and horrified himself at his own flighty
hopes, considering his years and his being the father of a family;
and that made him angry with Dounia. And possibly, too, he
hoped by his rude and sneering behaviour to hide the truth from
others. But at last he lost all control and had the face to make
Dounia an open and shameful proposal, promising her all sorts
of inducements and offering, besides, to throw up everything
and take her to another estate of his, or even abroad. You can
imagine all she went through! To leave her situation at once was
impossible not only on account of the money debt, but also to
spare the feelings of Marfa Petrovna, whose suspicions would
have been aroused; and then Dounia would have been the cause
of a rupture in the family. And it would have meant a terrible
scandal for Dounia too; that would have been inevitable. There
were various other reasons owing to which Dounia could not
hope to escape from that awful house for another six weeks.
You know Dounia, of course; you know how clever she is and
■yvhat a strong will she has. Doimia can endiure a great deal and
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