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- CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 29
sloping handwriting, so dear and familiar, of the mother who
had once taught him to read and write. He delayed; he seemed
almost afraid of something. At last he opened it ; it was a thick
heavy letter, weighing over two ounces, two large sheets of
note paper were covered with very small handwriting.
"My dear Rodya," wrote his mother — "it's two months since
I !?«*■ ^ad a talk with you by letter which has distressed me and
even t me awake at night, thinking. But I am sure you will
not blame me for my inevitable silence. You know how I love
you; you are all we have to look to, Dounia and I, you are our
all, our one hope, our one stay. What a grief it was to me when
I heard that you had given up the university some months ago,
for want of means to keep yourself and that you had lost your
lessons and your other work! How could I help you out of my
hundred ^nd twenty roubles a year pension? The fifteen roubles
I sent you four months ago I borrowed, as you know, on secur-
ity of my pension, from Vassily Ivanovitch Vahrushin a mer-
chant ofthis town. He is a kind-hearted man and was a friend
of your father's too. But having given him the right to receive
the pension, I had to wait till the debt was paid off and that is
only just done, so that I've been unable tts-tend you anything
all this time. But now, thank God, I believe I shall be able to
send you something more and in fact we may congratulate our-
selves on our good fortune now, of which I hasten to inform you.
In the first place, would you have guessed, dear Rodya, thar
your sister has been living with me for the last six weeks and
we shall not be separated in the future. Thank God, her suffer-
ings are over, but I will tell you everything in order, so that
you may know just how everything has happened and all that
we have hitherto concealed from you. When you wrote to me
two months ago that you had heard that Dounia had a great
deal to put up with in the Svidrigailovs' house, when you wrote
that and asked me to tell you all about it — what could I write in
answer to you? If I had written the whole truth to you, I dare
say you would have thrown up everything and have come to
us, even if you had to walk all the way, for I know your char-
acter and your iFeelings, and you would not let your sister be
insulted. I was in despair myself, but what could I do? And,
besides, I did not know the whole truth myself then. What made
it all so di£^uk was that Dounia received i hundred roubles in
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