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- CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 163
his depression had passed, there was not a trace now of the
energy with which he had set out "to make an end of it all."
Complete apathy had succeeded to it.
"Well, it's a way out of it," he thought, walking slowly and
listlessly along the canal bank. "Anyway I'll make an end,
for I want to. . . . But is it a way out? What does it matter!
There'll be the square yard of space — ha! But what an end!
Is it really the end? Shall I tell them or not? Ah . . . damn! How
tired I am! If I could find somewhere to sit or lie down soon!
"What I am most ashamed of is its being" so stupid. But I don't
care about that either! What idiotic ideas come into one's head."
To reach the police office he had to go straight forward and
take the second turning to the left. It was only a few paces
away. But at the first turning he stopped and, after a minute's
thought, turned into a side street and went two streets out of
his way, possibly without any object, or possibly to delay a
minute and gain time. He walked, looking at the ground; sud-
denly some one seemed to whisper in his ear; he lifted his head
and saw that he was standing at the very gate of the house.
He had not passed it, he had not been near it since that evening.
An overwhelming, unaccountable prompting drew him on. He
went into the house, passed through the gateway, then into the
first entrance on the right, and began mounting the familiar
staircase to the fourth storey. The narrow, steep staircase was
very dark. He stopped at each landing and looked round him
with curiosity; on the first landing the framework of the win-
dow had been taken out. "That wasn't so then," he thought.
Here was the flat on the second storey where Nikolay and
Dmitri had been working. "It's shut up and the door newly
painted. So it's to let." Then the third storey and the fourth.
"Here!" He was perplexed to find the door of the flat wide
open. There were men there, he could hear voices; he had not
exp>ected that. After brief hesitation he mounted the last stairs
and went into the flat. It, too, was being done up; there were
workmen in it. This seemed to amaze him; he somehow fancied
that he would find everything as he left it, even perhaps tht
corpses in the same places on the floor. And now, bare walls,
no furniture; it seemed strange. He walked to the window and
sat down on the window sill. There were two workmen, both
young fellows, but one much younger than the other. They
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