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- CRIME AND PUNISHME"NT 159
Raskolnikov had hardly opened the door of the restaurant
when he stumbled against Razumihin on the steps. They did m !
see each other till they almost knocked against each other. For
a moment they stood looking each other up and down. Razu-
mihin was greatly astounded, then anger, real anger gleamed
fiercely in his eyes.
"So here you are!" he shouted at the top of his voice — "you
ran away from yovu* bed! And here I've been looking for you
under the sofa! We went up to the garret. I almost beat Nas-
tasya on your account. And here he is after all. Rodya! What is
the meaning of it? Tell me the whole truth! Confess! Do you
hear?"
"It means that I'm sick to death of you all and I want to be
tlone," Raskolnikov answered calmly.
"Alone? When you are not able to walk, when your face
is as white as a sheet and you are gasping for breath! Idiot! . . .
What have you been doing in the Palais de Crystal? Own up
at once!"
"Let me go!" said Raskolnikov and tried to pass him. This
was too much for Razumihin; he gripped him firmly by the
shoulder.
"Let you go? You dare tell me to let you go? Do you
know what I'll do with you directly? I'll pick you up, tie you up
in a bundle, carry you home under my arm and lock you up!"
"Listen, Razumihin," Raskolnikov began quietly, apparently
calm — "can't you see that I don't want your benevolence? A
strange desire you have to shower benefits on a man who . . .
curses them, who feels them a burden in fact! Why did you
seek me out at the beginning of my illness? Maybe I was very
glad to die. Didn't I tell you plainly enough to-day that you
were torturing me, that I was . . . sick of you! You seem to
want to tortiu-e people! I assure you that all that is seriously
hindering my recovery, because it's continually irritating me.
You saw 2^ssimov went away just now to avoid irritating me.
You leave me alone too, for goodness' sake! What right have
you, indeed, to keep me by force? Don't you see that I am in
possession of all my faculties now? How, how can I persuade
you not to persecute me with your kindness? I may be ungrate-
ful, Imay be mean, only let me be, for God's sake, let me bel
Let me be, let me bel"
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