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- 180 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
"Polenka, my name is Rodion. Pray sometimes for me, too.
'And Thy servant Rodion,' nothing more."
"I'll pray for you all the rest of my life," the little girl de-
clared hotly, and suddenly smiling again she rushed at him and
hugged him warmly once more.
Raskolnikov told her his name and address and promised to
be sure to come next day. The child went away quite enchanted
with him. It was past ten when he came out into the street. In
five minutes he was standing on the bridge at the spot where the
woman had jumped in.
"Enough,'* he pronounced resolutely and triumphantly.
"I've done with fancies, imaginary terrors and phantoms! Life
is real! haven't I lived just now? My life has not yet died with
that old woman! The Kingdom of Heaven to her — and now
enough, madam, leave me in peace! Now for the reign of reason
and light . . . and of will, and of strength . . . and now we will
see! We will try our strength!" he added defiantly, as though
challenging some power of darkness. "And I was ready to con-
sent tolive in a square of space!
"I am very weak at this moment, but ... I believe my illness
is all over. I knew it would be over when I went out. By the
way, Potchinkov's house is only a few steps away. I certainly
must go to Razumihin even if it were not close by . . . let him
win his bet! Let us give him some satisfaction, too — no matter!
Strength, strength is what one wants, you can get nothing with-
out it,and strength must be won by strength — that's what they
don't know," he added proudly and self-confidently and he
walked with flagging footsteps from the bridge. Pride and self-
confidence grew continually stronger in him; he was becoming
a Afferent man every moment. What was it had happened to
work this revolution in him? He did not know himself; like a
man catching at a straw, he suddenly felt that he, too, 'could
live, that there was still life for him, that his life had not died
with the old woman.' Perhaps he was in too great a hurry with
his conclusion, but he did not think of that.
"But I did ask her to remember 'Thy servant Rodion' in her
prayers," the idea struck him. "Well, that was ... in case of
emergency," he added and laughed himself at his boyish sally.
He was in the best of spirits.
He easily found Razumihin; the new lodger was already
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