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- CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 201
Romanovna . . . that was simply intolerable. He brought his
fist down heavily on the kitchen stove, hurt his hand and sent
one of the bricks flying.
"Of course," he muttered to himself a minute later with a
feeling of self-abasement, "of course, all these infamies can
never be wiped out or smoothed over . . . and so it's useless even
to think of it, and I must go to them in silence and do my duty
... in silence, too. . . . and not ask forgiveness, and say nothing
. . . for all is lost now!"
And yet as he dressed he examined his attire more carefully
than usual. He hadn't another suit — if he had had, perhaps he
wouldn't have put it on. "I would have made a point of not
putting it on." But in any case he could not remain a cynic
and a dirty sloven; he had no right to oflfend the feelings of
others, especially when they were in need of his assistance and
asking him to see them. He brushed his clothes carefully. His
linen was always decent; in that respect he was especially clean.
He washed that morning scrupulously — he got some soap
from Nastasya — he washed his hair, his neck and especially his
hands. When it came to the question whether to shave his
stubbly chin or not (Praskovya Pavlovna had capital razors
that had been left by her late husband) , the question was an-
grily answered in the negative. "Let it stay as it is! What if they
think that I shaved on purpose to ... ? They certainly would
think so! Not on any account!"
"And . . • the worst of it was he was so coarse, so dirty, he
had the manners of a pothouse; and . . . and even admitting
that he knew he had some of the essentials of a gentleman . . .
what was there in that to be proud of? Every one ought to be a
gentleman and more than that . . . and all the same (he remem-
bered) he,too, had done little things . . . not exactly dishonest,
and yet. . . . And what thoughts he sometimes had; hm . . .
and to set all that beside Avdotya Romanovna! Confound it!
So be it! Well, he'd make a point then of being dirty, greasy,
pothouse in his manners and he wouldn't care! He'd be worse!"
He was engaged in such monologues when Zossimov, who
had spent the night in Praskovya Pavlovna's parlour, came in.
He was going home and was in a hurry to look at the invalid
first.- Razumihin informed him that Raskolnikov was sleeping
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