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- 222 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
Why did you smile just now?" She, too, flushed, and there was
a gleam of anger in her eyes.
"All?" he asked, with a maUgnant grin.
"Within certain limits. Both the manner and form of Pyotr
Petrovitch's courtship showed me at once what he wanted. He
may, of course, think too well of himself, but I hope he esteems
me, too. . . . Why are you laughing again?"
"And why are you blushing again? You are lying, sister. You
are intentionally lying, simply from feminine obstinacy, simply
to hold your own against me. . . . You cannot respect Luzhin. I
have seen him and talked with him. So you are selling yourself
for money, and so in any case you are acting basely, and I am
glad at least that you can blush for it."
"It is not true. I am not lying," cried Dounia, losing her com-
posure. "Iwould not marry him if I were not convinced that
he esteems me and thinks highly of me. I would not marry him
if I were not firmly convinced that I can respect him. Fortu-
nately, Ican have convincing proof of it this very day . . . and
such a marriage is not a vileness, as you say! And even if you
were right, if I really had determined on a vile action, is it not
merciless on your part to speak to me like that? Why do you
demand of me a heroism that perhaps you have not either? It is
despotism; it is tyranny. If I ruin any one, it is only myself.
... I am not committing a murder. Why do you look at me like
that? Why are you so pale? Rodya, darling, what's the matter?"
"Good heavens! You have made him faint," cried Pulcheria
Alexandrovna.
"No, no, nonsense! It's nothing. A little giddiness — not
fainting. You have fainting on the brain. H'm, yes, what was I
saying? Oh, yes. In what way will you get convincing proof
to-day that you can respect him, and that he . . . esteems you,
as you said. I think you said to-day?"
"Mother, show Rodya Pyotr Petrovitch's letter," said
Dounia.
With trembling hands, Pulcheria Alexandrovna gave him the
letter. He took it with great interest, but, before opening it,
he suddenly looked with a sort of wonder at Dounia.
"It is strange," he said, slowly, as though struck by « new
idea. "What am I making such a fUss for? What is it all about?
Marry whom you like!"
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