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- 272 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
at them and it makes you sad. What's most revolting is that
one is really sad! No, it's better at home. Here at least one
blames others for everything and excuses oneself. I should have
gone p>erhaps on an expedition to the North Pole, because j'ai le
vin mauvais and hate drinking, and there's nothing left but
wine. I have tried it. But, I say, I've been told Berg is going up
in a great balloon next Sunday from the Yvisupov Garden and
will take up passengers at a fee. Is it true?"
"Why, would you go up?"
"I . . . No, oh, no," muttered SvidrigaTlov really seeming to
be deep in thought.
"What does he mean? Is he in earnest?" Raskolnikov won-
dered.
"No, the document didn't restrain me," Svidrigailov went
on, meditatively. "It was my own doing, not leaving the coun-
try, and nearly a year ago Marfa Petrovna gave me back the
document on my name day and made me a present of a consider-
able sum of money, too. She had a fortune, you know. 'You see
how I trust you, Arkady Ivanovitch' — that was actually her
expression. You don't beheve she used it? But do you know I
managed the estate quite decently, they know me in the neigh-
bourhood. Iordered books, too. Marfa Petrovna at first ap-
proved, but afterwards she was afraid of my over-studying."
"You seem to be missing Marfa Petrovna very much?"
"Missing her? Perhaps. Really, perhaps I am. And, by the
way, do you believe in ghosts?"
"What ghosts?"
"Why, ordinary ghosts."
"Do you believe in them?"
"Perhaps not, pour vous plaire. ... I wouldn't say no exactly."
"Do you see them, then?"
Svidrigailov looked at him rather oddly.
"Marfa Petrovna is pleased to visit me," he said, twisting his
mouth into a strange smile.
"How do you mean 'she is pleased to visit you'?"
"She has been three times. I saw her first on the very day
of the funeral, an hour after she was buried. It was the day
before I left to come here. The second time was the day before
yesterday, at daybreak, on the journey at the station of Malaya
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