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- CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 311
. . ." she forced herself at last to read, but at the third word her
voice broke like an overstrained string. There was a catch in her
breath.
Raskolnikov saw in part why Sonia could not bring herself
to read to him and the more he saw this, the more roughly and
irritably he insisted on her doing so. He understood only too
well how painful it was for her to betray and unveil all that was
her own. He understood that these feelings really were her secret
treasure, which she had kept perhaps for years, perhaps from
childhood, while she lived with an unhappy father and a dis-
tracted stepmother crazed by grief, in the midst of starving
children and unseemly abuse and reproaches. But at the same
time he knew now and knew for certain that, although it filled
her with dread and suffering, yet she had a tormenting desire
to read and to read to him that he might hear it, and to read
now whatever might come of it! . . . He read this in her eyes,
he could see it in her intense emotion. She mastered herself,
controlled the spasm in her throat and went on reading the
eleventh chapter of St. John. She went on to the nineteenth
verse:
"And many of the Jews came to Martha and Mary to comfort
them concerning their brother.
Then Martha as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming
went and met Him: but Mary sat still in the house.
Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if Thou hadst been here,
my brother had not died.
But I know that even now whatsoever Thou wilt ask of God,
God will give it Thee. , . ."
Then she stopped again with a shamefaced feeling that her
voice would quiver and break again.
"Jesus said unto her, thy brother shall rise again.
Martha saith unto Him, I know that he shall rise again in the
resurrection, at the last day.
Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection and the life: he
that believeth in Me though he were dead, yet shall he live.
And whosoever liveth and believeth in Me shall never die.
Belie vest thou this?
She saith unto Him,"
(And drawing a painful breath, Sonia read distinctly and
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