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- CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 315
understand? You'll understand later, . . . Freedom and power,
and above all, power! Over all trembling creation and all the
antheap! . . . That's the goal, remember that! That's my farewell
message. Perhaps it's the last time I shall speak to you. If I
don't come to-morrow, you'll hear of it all, and then remember
these words. And some day later on, in years to come, you'll
understand perhaps what they meant. If I come to-morrow, I'll
tell you who killed Lizaveta. . . . Good-bye."Sonia started with terror.
"Why, do you know who killed her?" she asked, chilled with
horror, looking wildly at him.
"I know and will tell . . . you, only you. I have chosen you
out. I'm not coming to you to ask forgiveness, but simply to
tell you. I chose you out long ago to hear this, when your father
talked of you and when Lizaveta was alive, I thought of it.
Good-bye, don't shake hands. To-morrow!"
He went out. Sonia gazed at him as at a madman. But she
herself was like one insane and felt it. Her head was going round.
"Good heavens, how does he know who killed Lizaveta?
What did those words mean? It's awful!" But at the same
time the idea did not enter her head, not for a moment! "Oh,
he must be terribly unhappy! . . . He has abandoned his mother
and sister. . . . What for? What has happened? And what had
he in his mind? What did he say to her? He had kissed her foot
and said . . . said (yes, he had said it clearly) that he could not
live without her. . . . Oh, merciful heavens!"
Sonia spent the whole night feverish and delirious. She
jumped up from time to time, wept and wrung her hands, then
sank again into feverish sleep and dreamt of Polenka, Katerina
Ivanovna and Lizaveta, of reading the gospel and him . . , him
with pale face, with burning eyes . . . kissing her feet, weeping.
On the other side of the door on the right, which divided
Sonia's room from Madame Resslich's flat, was a room which
had long stood empty. A card was fixed on the gate and a notice
stuck in the windows over the canal advertising it to let. Sonia
had long been accustomed to the room's being uninhabited. But
all that time Mr. Svidrigailov had been standing, listening at the
door of the empty room. When Raskolnikov went out he stood
still, thought a moment, went on tiptoe to his own room which
adjoined the empty one, brought a chair and noiselessly carried
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