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CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 447 "I was told too about some footman of yours in the country whom you treated badly." "I beg you to drop the subject," Svidrigailov interrupted again with obvious impatience. "Was that the footman who came to you after death to fill your pipe? . . , you told me about it yourself," Raskolnikov feltmore and more irritated. Svidrigailov looked at him attentively and Raskolnikov fan- cied he caught a flash of spiteful mockery in that look. But Svidrigailov restrained himself and answered very civilly. "Yes, it was. I see that you, too, are extremely interested and shall feel it my duty to satisfy your curiosity at the first oppor- tunity. Upon my soul! I see that I really might pass for a romantic figure with some people. Judge how grateful I must be to Marf a Petrovna for having repeated to Avdotya Roman- ovna such mysterious and interesting gossip about me. I dare not guess what impression it made on her, but in any case it worked in my interests. With all Avdotya Romanovna's natural aver- sion and in spite of my invariably gloomy and repellent aspect — she did at last feel pity for me, pity for a lost soul. And if once a girl's heart is moved to pity, it's more dangerous than any- thing. She is bound to want to 'save him,' to bring him to his senses, and lift him up and draw him to nobler aims, and re- store him to new life and usefulness, — well, we all know how far such dreams can' go. I saw at once that the bird was flying into the cage of herself. And I too made ready. I think you are frown- ing, Rodion Romanovitch? There's no need. As you know, it all ended in smoke. (Hang it all, what a lot I am drinking!) Do you know, I always, from the very beginning, regretted that it wasn't your sister's fate to be born in the second or third cen- tury A.D., as the daughter of a reigning prince or some governor or proconsul in Asia Minor. She would undoubtedly have been one of those who would endure martyrdom and would have smiled when they branded her bosom with hot pincers. And she would have gone to it of herself. And in the fourth or fifth cen- tury she would have walked away into the Egyptian desert and would have stayed there thirty years living on roots and ecsta- sies and visions. She is simply thirsting to face some torture for some one, and if she can't get her torture, she'll throw herself out of a window. I've heard something of a Mr. Razumihin —
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