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- CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 433
How much do you understand? You made up a theory and then
were ashamed that it broke down and turned out to be not at
all original! It turned out something base, that's true, but you
are not hopelessly base. By no means so base! At least you didn't
deceive yourself for long, you went straight to the furthest
point at one bound. How do I regard you? I regard you as one
of those men who would stand and smile at their torturer while
he cuts their entrails out, if only they have found faith or God.
Find it and you will live. You have long needed a change of air.
Suffering, too, is a good thing. Suffer! Maybe Nikolay is right
in wanting to suffer. I know you don't believe in it— but don't
be over- wise; fling yourself straight into life, without delibera-
tion; don't be afraid — the flood will bear you to the bank and
set you safe on your feet again. What bank? How can I tell?
I only believe that you have long life before you. I know that
you take all my words now for a set speech prepared beforehand,
but maybe you will remember them after. They may be of use
some time. That's why I speak. It's as well that you only killed
the old woman. If you'd invented another theory you might per-
haps have done something a thousand times more hideous. You
ought to thank God, perhaps. How do you know? Perhaps God is
saving you for something. But keep a good heart and have less
fear! Are you afraid of the great expiation before you? No, ic
would be shameful to be afraid of it. Since you have taken such 3
step, you must harden your heart. There is justice in it. You must
fulfil the demands of justice. I know that you don't believe it,
but indeed, life will bring you through. You will live it down in
time. What you need now is fresh air, fresh air, fresh air!"
Raskolnikov positively started.
"But who are you? what prophet are you? From the height
of what majestic calm do you proclaim these words of wisdom?"
"Who am I? I am a man with nothing to hope for, that's all.
A man perhaps of feeling and sympathy, maybe of some knowl-
edge too, but my day is over. But you are a different matter,
there is life waiting for you. Though who knows, maybe your
life, too, will pass off in smoke and come to nothing. Come, what
does it matter, that you will pass into another class of men? It'«
not comfort you regret, with your heart! What of it that per-
haps no one will see you for so long? It's not time, but yourself
that will decide that. Be the sun and all will see you. The sun ha<
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