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- 446 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
very diflferent things, and that's where the trouble came in. But
to judge some people impartially we must renounce certain pre-
conceived opinions and our habitual attitude to the ordinary
people about us. I have reason to have faith in your judgment
rather than in any one's. Perhaps you have already heard a greatdeal that was ridiculous and absurd about Marfa Petrovna. She
certainly had some very ridiculous ways, but I tell you frankly
that I feel really sorry for the innumerable woes of which I was
the cause. Well, and that's enough, I think, by way of a decorous
oraison funebre for the most tender wife of a most tender hus-
band. When we quarrelled, I usually held my tongue and did not
irritate her and that gentlemanly conduct rarely failed to attain
its object, it influenced her, it pleased her, indeed. There were
times when she was positively proud of me. But your sister she
couldn't put up with, anyway. And however she came to risk
taking such a beautiful creature into her house as a governess.
My explanation is that Marfa Petrovna was an ardent and im-
pressionable woman and simply fell in love herself — literally fell
in love — with your sister. Well, little wonder — look at Avdotya
Romanovna! I saw the danger at the first glance and what do
you think, I resolved not to look at her even. But Avdotya Ro-
manovna herself made the first step, would you believe it?
Would you believe it too that Marfa Petrovna was positively
angry with me at first for my persistent silence about your
sister, for my careless reception of her continual adoring praises
of Avdotya Romanovna. I don't know what it was she wanted!
Well, of course, Marfa Petrovna told Avdotya Romanovna
every detail about me. She had the unfortunate habit of telling
literally every one all our family secrets and continually com-
plaining ofme; how could she fail to confide in such a delightful
new friend? I expect they talked of nothing else but me and no
doubt Avdotya Romanovna heard all those dark mysterious
rumours that were current about me. ... I don't mind betting
that you too have heard something of the sort already?"
"I have. Luzhin charged you with having caused the death
of a child. Is that true?"
"Don't refer to those vulgar tales, I beg," said Svidrigailov
with disgust and annoyance. "If you insist on wanting to know
about all that idiocy, I will tell you one day, but now . . ."
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