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- 48^ CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
her, he kissed her feet and both wept, embracing. And she was
not surprised and did not question him this time. For some days
she had reaHsed that something awful was happening to her son
and that now some terrible minute had come foi him.
Rodya, my darling, my first born," she said sobbing, "now
you are just as when you were little. You would run like this
to me and hug me and kiss me. When your father was living
and we were poor, you comforted us simply by being with us
and when I buried your father, how often we wept together at
his grave and embraced, as now. And if I've been crying lately,
it's that my mother's heart had a foreboding of trouble. The first
time I saw you, that evening you remember, as soon as we ar-
rived here, I guessed simply from your eyes. My heart sank at
once, and to-day when I opened the door and looked at you, I
thought the fatal hour had come. Rodya, Rodya, you are not
going away to-day?"
"No!"
"You'll come again?"
"Yes . . . I'll come."
"Rodya, don't be angry, I don't dare to question you^ I
know I mustn't. Only say two words to me — is it far where
you are going?"
"Very far."
"What is awaiting you there? Some post or career for you?"
"What God sends . . . only pray for me." Raskolnikov went
to the door, but she clutched him and gazed despairingly into
his eyes. Her face worked with terror.
"Enough, mother," said Raskolnikov, deeply regetting thathe had come.
"Not for ever, it's not yet for ever? You'll come, you'll come
to-morrow?"
"I will, I will, good-bye." He tore himself away at last.
It was a warm, fresh, bright evening; it had cleared up in the
morning. Raskolnikov went to his lodgings; he made haste. He
wanted to finish all before simset. He did not want to meet any
one till then. Going up the stairs he noticed that Nastasya rushed
from the samovar to watch him intently. "Can any one have
come to see me?" he wondered. He had a disgusted vision of
Porfiry. But opening his door he saw Dounia. She was sitting
alone, plunged in deep thought, and looked as though she had
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