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- 424 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
for a time, I shaH get hold of something else — I shan't lose what
I want, anyway. You are nervously irritable, Rodion Romano-
vitch, by temperament; it's out of proportion with other quali-
ties of your heart and character, which I flatter myself I have
to some extent divined. Of course I did reflect even then that
it does not always happen that a man gets up and blurts out his
whole story. It does happen sometimes, if you make a man lose
all patience, though even then it's rare. I was capable of realis-
ing that. If I only had a fact, I thought, the least little fact to
go upon, something I could lay hold of, something tangible, not
merely psychological. For if a man is guilty, you must be able
to get something substantial out of him; one may reckon upon
most surprising results indeed. I was reckoning on your tempera-
ment, Rodion Romanovitch, on your temperament above all
things! I had great hopes of you at that time."
"But what are you driving at nowji" Raskolnikov muttered
at last, asking the question without thinking.
"What is he talking about?" he wondered distractedly, "does
he really take me to be innocent?"
"What am I driving at? I've come to explain myself, I con-
sider itmy duty, so to speak. I want to make clear to you how
the whole business, the whole misunderstanding arose. I've
caused you a great deal of suffering, Rodion Romanovitch. I
am not a monster. I imderstand what it must mean for a man
who has been unfortunate, but who is proud, imperious and
above all, impatient, to have to bear such treatment! I regard-
you in any case as a man of noble character and not without
elements of magnanimity, though I don't agree with all your
convictions. I wanted to tell you this first, frankly and quite
sincerely, for above all I don't want to deceive you. When I
made your acquaintance, I felt attracted by you. Perhaps you
will laugh at my saying so. You have a right to. I know you dis-
liked me from the first and indeed you've no reason to like me.
You may think what you like, but I desire now to do all I can
to efface that impression and to show that I am a man of heart
and conscience. I speak sincerely."
Porfiry Petrovitch made a dignified pause. Raskolnikov felt
a rush of renewed alarm. The thought that Porfiry believed him
to be innocent began to make him uneasy.
"It's scarcely necessary to go over everything in detail," Por-
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