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- 436 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
about his immediate future. Another, much more important
anxiety tormented him — it concerned himself, but in a different,
more vital way. Moreover, he was conscious of immense moral
fatigue, though his mind was working better that morning than
it had done of late.
And was it worth while, after all that had happened, to con-
tend with these new trivial difficulties? Was it worth while, for
instance, to manoeuvre that Svidrigailov should not go to Por-
firy's? Was it worth while to investigate, to ascertain the facts,
to waste time over any one like Svidrigailov?
Oh how sick he was of it all!
And yet he was hastening to Svidrigailov; could he be ex-
pecting something new from him, information, or means of
escape? Men will catch at straws! Was it destiny or some instinct
bringing them together? Perhaps it was only fatigue, despair;
perhaps it was not Svidrigailov but some other whom he needed,
and Svidrigailov had simply presented himself by chance. Sonia?
But what should he go to Sonia for now? To beg her tears again?
He was afraid of Sonia, too. Sonia stood before him as an irrev-
ocable sentence. He must go his own way or hers. At that
moment especially he did not feel equal to seeing her. No,
would it not be better to try Svidrigailov? And he could not
help inwardly owning that he had long felt that he must see
him for some reason.
But what could they have in common? Their very evil-
doing could not be of the same kind. The man, moreover, was
very unpleasant, evidently depraved, undoubtedly cunning and
deceitful, possibly malignant. Such stories were told about him.
It is true he was befriending Katerina Ivanovna's children, butwho could tell with what motive and what it meant? The man
always had some design, some project.
There was another thought which had been continually
hovering of late about Raskolnikov's mind, and causing him
great uneasiness. It was so painful that he made distinct etforts
to get rid of it. He sometimes thought that Sivdrigailov was
dogging his footsteps. Svidrigailov had found out his secret
and had had designs on Dounia. What if he had them still?
Wasn't it practically certain that he had? And what if, having
learnt his secret and so having gained power over him, he were
to use it as a weapon against Dounia?
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