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- 218 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
"That was always her . . . habit; and immediately after din-
ner, so as not to be late in starting, she went to the bathhouse.
. . . You see, she was undergoing some treatment with baths.
They have a cold spring there, and she used to bathe in it regu-
larly every day, and no sooner had she got into the water when
she suddenly had a stroke!"
"I should think so," said Zossimov.
"And did he beat her badly?"
"What does that matter!" put in Dounia.
"H'm! But I don't know why you want to tell us such
gossip, mother," said Raskolnikov irritably, as it were in spiteof himself.
"Ah, my dear, I don't know what to talk about," broke fromPulcheria Alexandrovna.
"Why, are you all afraid of me?" he asked, with a con-strained smile.
"That's certainly true," said Dounia, looking directly and
sternly at her brother. "Mother was crossing herself with terror
as she came up the stairs."
His face worked, as though in convulsion.
"Ach, what are you saying, Dounia! Don't be angry, please,
Rodya. . . . Why did you say that, Dounia?" Pulcheria Alex-
androvna began, overwhelmed — "You see, coming here, I was
dreaming all the way, in the train, how we should meet, how
we should talk over everything together. . . . And I was so
happy, I did not notice the journey! But what am I saying?
I am happy now. . . . You should not, Dounia. ... I am happy
now — simply in seeing you, Rodya. . . ."
"Hush, mother," he muttered in confusion, not looking at
her, but pressing her hand. "We shall have time to speak
freely of everything!"
As he said this, he was suddenly overwhelmed with confusion
and turned pale. Again that awful sensation he had known
of late passed with deadly chill over his soul. Again it became
suddenly plain and perceptible to him that he had just told
a fearful lie — that he would never now be able to speak freely
of everything — that he would never again be able to speak
of anything to any one. The anguish of this thought was such
that for a moment he almost forgot himself. He got up from
his seat, and not looking at any one walked towards the door.
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