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- 304 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
the shopmen because she hadn't enough. . . . Ah, it was sad to
see her. . . ."
"Well, after that I can understand your living hke this,"Raskolnikov said with a bitter smile.
"And aren't you sorry for them? Aren't you sorry?" Sonia
flew at him again. "Why, I know, you gave your last penny
yourself, though you'd seen nothing of it, and if you'd seen
everything, oh dear! And how often, how often I've brought her
to tears! Only last week! Yes, I! Only a week before his death.
I was cruel! And how often I've done it! Ah, I've been wretched
at the thought of it all day!"
Sonia wrung her hands as she spoke at the pain of remember-
ing it.
"You were cruel?"
"Yes, Iā I. I went to see them," she went on, weeping, "and
father said, 'read me something, Sonia, my head aches, read to
me, here's a book.' He had a book he had got from Andrey Sem-
yonovitch Lebeziatnikov, he lives there, he always used to get
hold of such funny books. And I said, 'I can't stay,' as I didn't
want to read, and I'd gone in chiefly to show Katerina Ivanovna
some collars. Lizaveta, the pedlar, sold me some collars and
cuflFs cheap, pretty, new, embroidered ones. Katerina Ivanovna
liked them very much; she put them on and looked at herself
in the glass and was delighted with them. 'Make me a present
of them, Sonia,' she said, 'please do.' 'Please do,' she said, she
wanted them so much. And when could she wear them? They
just reminded her of her old happy days. She looked at herself
in the glass, admired herself, and she has no clothes at all, no
things of her own, hasn't had all these years! And she never asks
any one for anything; she is proud, she'd sooner give away
everything. And these she asked for, she liked them so much.
And I was sorry to give them. 'What use are they to you,
Katerina Tvanovna?' I said. I spoke like that to her, I ought not
to have said that! She gave me such a look. And she was so
grieved, so grieved at my refusing her. And it was so sad to see.
. . . And she was not grieved for the collars, but for my refusing,
I saw that. Ah, if only I could bring it all back, change it, take
back those words! Ah, if I . . . but it's nothing to you!"
"Did you know Lizaveta, the pedlar?"
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