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- 514 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
"I have only you now," he added. "Let us go together. . . .
I've come to you, we are both accursed, let us go our way
together!"
His eyes glittered "as though he were mad," Sonia thought,in her turn.
"Go where?" she asked in alarm and she involuntarily stepped
1 ack.
"How do I know? I only know it's the same road, I know
that and nothing more. It's the same goal!"
She looked at him and understood nothing. She knew only
*;hat he was terribly, infinitely unhappy.
"No one of them will understand, if you tell them, but I
have understood. I need you, that is why I have come to you."
"I don't understand," whispered Sonia.
"You'll understand later. Haven't you done the same? You,
too, have transgressed . . . have had the strength to transgress.
You have laid hands on yourself, you have destroyed a life
. . . your own (it's all the same!). You might have lived in
spirit and understanding, but you'll end in the Hay Market. . . .
But you won't be able to stand it, and if you remain alone you'll
go out of your mind like me. You are like a mad creature
already. So we must go together on the same road! Let us go!"
"What for? What's all this for?" said Sonia, strangely and
violently agitated by his words.
"What for? Because you can't remain like this, that's why!
Ycu must look things straight in the face at last, and not weep
like a child and cry that God won't allow it. What will happen,
if you should really be taken to the hospital to-morrow? She is
mad and in consumption, she'll soon die and the children? Do
you mean to tell me Polenka won't come to grief? Haven't you
seen children here at the street corners sent out by their mothers
to beg? I've found out where those mothers live and in what
surroundings. Children can't remain children there! At seven
the child is vicious and a thief. Yet children, you know, are the
image of Christ: 'theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.' He bade us
honour and love them, they are the humanity of the future. . . ."
"What's to be done, what's to be done?" repeated Sonia,
weeping hysterically and wringing her hands.
"What's to be done? Break what must be broken, once for
all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself. What, you don't
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