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- couldn't stand it anyway. I just wish he wasn't there. You didn't know him. If you'd
known him, you'd know what I mean. It's not too bad when the sun's out, but the sun only
comes out when it feels like coming out.
After a while, just to get my mind off getting pneumonia and all, I took out my
dough and tried to count it in the lousy light from the street lamp. All I had was three
singles and five quarters and a nickel left--boy, I spent a fortune since I left Pencey. Then
what I did, I went down near the lagoon and I sort of skipped the quarters and the nickel
across it, where it wasn't frozen. I don't know why I did it, but I did it. I guess I thought
it'd take my mind off getting pneumonia and dying. It didn't, though.
I started thinking how old Phoebe would feel if I got pneumonia and died. It was a
childish way to think, but I couldn't stop myself. She'd feel pretty bad if something like
that happened. She likes me a lot. I mean she's quite fond of me. She really is. Anyway, I
couldn't get that off my mind, so finally what I figured I'd do, I figured I'd better sneak
home and see her, in case I died and all. I had my door key with me and all, and I figured
what I'd do, I'd sneak in the apartment, very quiet and all, and just sort of chew the fat
with her for a while. The only thing that worried me was our front door. It creaks like a
bastard. It's a pretty old apartment house, and the superintendent's a lazy bastard, and
everything creaks and squeaks. I was afraid my parents might hear me sneaking in. But I
decided I'd try it anyhow.
So I got the hell out of the park, and went home. I walked all the way. It wasn't
too far, and I wasn't tired or even drunk any more. It was just very cold and nobody
around anywhere.
21
The best break I had in years, when I got home the regular night elevator boy,
Pete, wasn't on the car. Some new guy I'd never seen was on the car, so I figured that if I
didn't bump smack into my parents and all I'd be able to say hello to old Phoebe and then
beat it and nobody'd even know I'd been around. It was really a terrific break. What made
it even better, the new elevator boy was sort of on the stupid side. I told him, in this very
casual voice, to take me up to the Dicksteins'. The Dicksteins were these people that had
the other apartment on our floor. I'd already taken off my hunting hat, so as not to look
suspicious or anything. I went in the elevator like I was in a terrific hurry.
He had the elevator doors all shut and all, and was all set to take me up, and then
he turned around and said, "They ain't in. They're at a party on the fourteenth floor."
"That's all right," I said. "I'm supposed to wait for them. I'm their nephew."
He gave me this sort of stupid, suspicious look. "You better wait in the lobby,
fella," he said.
"I'd like to--I really would," I said. "But I have a bad leg. I have to hold it in a
certain position. I think I'd better sit down in the chair outside their door."
He didn't know what the hell I was talking about, so all he said was "Oh" and took
me up. Not bad, boy. It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands
and they'll do practically anything you want them to.
I got off at our floor--limping like a bastard--and started walking over toward the
Dicksteins' side. Then, when I heard the elevator doors shut, I turned around and went
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