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2508
extracted_at
2026-01-27T17:16:00.016Z
extracted_by
structure-extraction-lambda
start_line
2465
text
2360 14 2361 After Old Sunny was gone, I sat in the chair for a while and smoked a couple of 2362 cigarettes. It was getting daylight outside. Boy, I felt miserable. I felt so depressed, you 2363 can't imagine. What I did, I started talking, sort of out loud, to Allie. I do that sometimes 2364 when I get very depressed. I keep telling him to go home and get his bike and meet me in 2365 front of Bobby Fallon's house. Bobby Fallon used to live quite near us in Maine--this is, 2366 years ago. Anyway, what happened was, one day Bobby and I were going over to Lake 2367 Sedebego on our bikes. We were going to take our lunches and all, and our BB guns--we 2368 were kids and all, and we thought we could shoot something with our BB guns. Anyway, 2369 Allie heard us talking about it, and he wanted to go, and I wouldn't let him. I told him he 2370 was a child. So once in a while, now, when I get very depressed, I keep saying to him, 2371 "Okay. Go home and get your bike and meet me in front of Bobby's house. Hurry up." It <!-- [Page 54](arke:01KFYTAC4ZACRWZ8SF0HPV6KDR) --> 2372 wasn't that I didn't use to take him with me when I went somewhere. I did. But that one 2373 day, I didn't. He didn't get sore about it--he never got sore about anything-- but I keep 2374 thinking about it anyway, when I get very depressed. 2375 Finally, though, I got undressed and got in bed. I felt like praying or something, 2376 when I was in bed, but I couldn't do it. I can't always pray when I feel like it. In the first 2377 place, I'm sort of an atheist. I like Jesus and all, but I don't care too much for most of the 2378 other stuff in the Bible. Take the Disciples, for instance. They annoy the hell out of me, if 2379 you want to know the truth. They were all right after Jesus was dead and all, but while He 2380 was alive, they were about as much use to Him as a hole in the head. All they did was 2381 keep letting Him down. I like almost anybody in the Bible better than the Disciples. If 2382 you want to know the truth, the guy I like best in the Bible, next to Jesus, was that lunatic 2383 and all, that lived in the tombs and kept cutting himself with stones. I like him ten times 2384 as much as the Disciples, that poor bastard. I used to get in quite a few arguments about 2385 it, when I was at Whooton School, with this boy that lived down the corridor, Arthur 2386 Childs. Old Childs was a Quaker and all, and he read the Bible all the time. He was a 2387 very nice kid, and I liked him, but I could never see eye to eye with him on a lot of stuff 2388 in the Bible, especially the Disciples. He kept telling me if I didn't like the Disciples, then 2389 I didn't like Jesus and all. He said that because Jesus picked the Disciples, you were 2390 supposed to like them. I said I knew He picked them, but that He picked them at random. 2391 I said He didn't have time to go around analyzing everybody. I said I wasn't blaming 2392 Jesus or anything. It wasn't His fault that He didn't have any time. I remember I asked old 2393 Childs if he thought Judas, the one that betrayed Jesus and all, went to Hell after he 2394 committed suicide. Childs said certainly. That's exactly where I disagreed with him. I 2395 said I'd bet a thousand bucks that Jesus never sent old Judas to Hell. I still would, too, if I 2396 had a thousand bucks. I think any one of the Disciples would've sent him to Hell and all-- 2397 and fast, too--but I'll bet anything Jesus didn't do it. Old Childs said the trouble with me 2398 was that I didn't go to church or anything. He was right about that, in a way. I don't. In 2399 the first place, my parents are different religions, and all the children in our family are 2400 atheists. If you want to know the truth, I can't even stand ministers. The ones they've had 2401 at every school I've gone to, they all have these Holy Joe voices when they start giving
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