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3378 In case you don't live in New York, the Wicker Bar is in this sort of swanky hotel,
3379 the Seton Hotel. I used to go there quite a lot, but I don't any more. I gradually cut it out.
3380 It's one of those places that are supposed to be very sophisticated and all, and the phonies
3381 are coming in the window. They used to have these two French babes, Tina and Janine,
3382 come out and play the piano and sing about three times every night. One of them played
3383 the piano--strictly lousy--and the other one sang, and most of the songs were either pretty
3384 dirty or in French. The one that sang, old Janine, was always whispering into the goddam
3385 microphone before she sang. She'd say, "And now we like to geeve you our impression of
3386 Vooly Voo Fransay. Eet ees the story of a leetle Fransh girl who comes to a beeg ceety,
3387 just like New York, and falls een love wees a leetle boy from Brookleen. We hope you
3388 like eet." Then, when she was all done whispering and being cute as hell, she'd sing some
3389 dopey song, half in English and half in French, and drive all the phonies in the place mad
3390 with joy. If you sat around there long enough and heard all the phonies applauding and
3391 all, you got to hate everybody in the world, I swear you did. The bartender was a louse,
3392 too. He was a big snob. He didn't talk to you at all hardly unless you were a big shot or a
3393 celebrity or something. If you were a big shot or a celebrity or something, then he was
3394 even more nauseating. He'd go up to you and say, with this big charming smile, like he
3395 was a helluva swell guy if you knew him, "Well! How's Connecticut?" or "How's
3396 Florida?" It was a terrible place, I'm not kidding. I cut out going there entirely, gradually.
3397 It was pretty early when I got there. I sat down at the bar--it was pretty crowded--
3398 and had a couple of Scotch and sodas before old Luce even showed up. I stood up when I
3399 ordered them so they could see how tall I was and all and not think I was a goddam
3400 minor. Then I watched the phonies for a while. Some guy next to me was snowing hell
3401 out of the babe he was with. He kept telling her she had aristocratic hands. That killed
3402 me. The other end of the bar was full of flits. They weren't too flitty-looking--I mean they
3403 didn't have their hair too long or anything--but you could tell they were flits anyway.
3404 Finally old Luce showed up.
3405 Old Luce. What a guy. He was supposed to be my Student Adviser when I was at
3406 Whooton. The only thing he ever did, though, was give these sex talks and all, late at
3407 night when there was a bunch of guys in his room. He knew quite a bit about sex,
3408 especially perverts and all. He was always telling us about a lot of creepy guys that go
3409 around having affairs with sheep, and guys that go around with girls' pants sewed in the
3410 lining of their hats and all. And flits and Lesbians. Old Luce knew who every flit and
3411 Lesbian in the United States was. All you had to do was mention somebody--anybody--
3412 and old Luce'd tell you if he was a flit or not. Sometimes it was hard to believe, the
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