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- She looked nice, smoking. She inhaled and all, but she didn't wolf the smoke
down, the way most women around her age do. She had a lot of charm. She had quite a
lot of sex appeal, too, if you really want to know.
She was looking at me sort of funny. I may be wrong but I believe your nose is
bleeding, dear, she said, all of a sudden.
I nodded and took out my handkerchief. "I got hit with a snowball," I said. "One
of those very icy ones." I probably would've told her what really happened, but it
would've taken too long. I liked her, though. I was beginning to feel sort of sorry I'd told
her my name was Rudolf Schmidt. "Old Ernie," I said. "He's one of the most popular
boys at Pencey. Did you know that?"
"No, I didn't."
I nodded. "It really took everybody quite a long time to get to know him. He's a
funny guy. A strange guy, in lots of ways--know what I mean? Like when I first met him.
When I first met him, I thought he was kind of a snobbish person. That's what I thought.
But he isn't. He's just got this very original personality that takes you a little while to get
to know him."
Old Mrs. Morrow didn't say anything, but boy, you should've seen her. I had her
glued to her seat. You take somebody's mother, all they want to hear about is what a hot-
shot their son is.
Then I really started chucking the old crap around. "Did he tell you about the
elections?" I asked her. "The class elections?"
She shook her head. I had her in a trance, like. I really did.
"Well, a bunch of us wanted old Ernie to be president of the class. I mean he was
the unanimous choice. I mean he was the only boy that could really handle the job," I
said--boy, was I chucking it. "But this other boy--Harry Fencer--was elected. And the
reason he was elected, the simple and obvious reason, was because Ernie wouldn't let us
nominate him. Because he's so darn shy and modest and all. He refused. . . Boy, he's
really shy. You oughta make him try to get over that." I looked at her. "Didn't he tell you
about it?"
"No, he didn't."
I nodded. "That's Ernie. He wouldn't. That's the one fault with him--he's too shy
and modest. You really oughta get him to try to relax occasionally."
Right that minute, the conductor came around for old Mrs. Morrow's ticket, and it
gave me a chance to quit shooting it. I'm glad I shot it for a while, though. You take a guy
like Morrow that's always snapping their towel at people's asses--really trying to hurt
somebody with it--they don't just stay a rat while they're a kid. They stay a rat their whole
life. But I'll bet, after all the crap I shot, Mrs. Morrow'll keep thinking of him now as this
very shy, modest guy that wouldn't let us nominate him for president. She might. You
can't tell. Mothers aren't too sharp about that stuff.
"Would you care for a cocktail?" I asked her. I was feeling in the mood for one
myself. "We can go in the club car. All right?"
"Dear, are you allowed to order drinks?" she asked me. Not snotty, though. She
was too charming and all to be snotty.
"Well, no, not exactly, but I can usually get them on account of my heighth," I
said. "And I have quite a bit of gray hair." I turned sideways and showed her my gray
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