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- "Nothing's the matter, it's just that all my money and stuff's in one of my bags. I'll
be right back. I'll get a cab and be right back," I said. Boy, I was falling all over myself in
the dark. "The thing is, it isn't mine, the money. It's my mother's, and I--"
"Don't be ridiculous, Holden. Get back in that bed. I'm going to bed myself. The
money will be there safe and sound in the morn--"
"No, no kidding. I gotta get going. I really do." I was damn near all dressed
already, except that I couldn't find my tie. I couldn't remember where I'd put my tie. I put
on my jacket and all without it. Old Mr. Antolini was sitting now in the big chair a little
ways away from me, watching me. It was dark and all and I couldn't see him so hot, but I
knew he was watching me, all right. He was still boozing, too. I could see his trusty
highball glass in his hand.
"You're a very, very strange boy."
"I know it," I said. I didn't even look around much for my tie. So I went without it.
"Good-by, sir," I said, "Thanks a lot. No kidding."
He kept walking right behind me when I went to the front door, and when I rang
the elevator bell he stayed in the damn doorway. All he said was that business about my
being a "very, very strange boy" again. Strange, my ass. Then he waited in the doorway
and all till the goddam elevator came. I never waited so long for an elevator in my whole
goddam life. I swear.
I didn't know what the hell to talk about while I was waiting for the elevator, and
he kept standing there, so I said, "I'm gonna start reading some good books. I really am."
I mean you had to say something. It was very embarrassing.
"You grab your bags and scoot right on back here again. I'll leave the door
unlatched."
"Thanks a lot," I said. "G'by!" The elevator was finally there. I got in and went
down. Boy, I was shaking like a madman. I was sweating, too. When something perverty
like that happens, I start sweating like a bastard. That kind of stuff's happened to me
about twenty times since I was a kid. I can't stand it.
25
When I got outside, it was just getting light out. It was pretty cold, too, but it felt
good because I was sweating so much.
I didn't know where the hell to go. I didn't want to go to another hotel and spend
all Phoebe's dough. So finally all I did was I walked over to Lexington and took the
subway down to Grand Central. My bags were there and all, and I figured I'd sleep in that
crazy waiting room where all the benches are. So that's what I did. It wasn't too bad for a
while because there weren't many people around and I could stick my feet up. But I don't
feel much like discussing it. It wasn't too nice. Don't ever try it. I mean it. It'll depress
you.
I only slept till around nine o'clock because a million people started coming in the
waiting room and I had to take my feet down. I can't sleep so hot if I have to keep my feet
on the floor. So I sat up. I still had that headache. It was even worse. And I think I was
more depressed than I ever was in my whole life.
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