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- 2408
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- 2026-01-30T20:47:57.722Z
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- 2323
- text
- weed, you were inquiring for, seemed to take me for some soft
sentimentalist, only because I kept quiet, and thought, because I had a
copy of Tacitus with me, that I was reading him for his gloom, instead
of his gossip. But I let him talk. And, indeed, by my manner humored
him."
"You shouldn't have done that, now. Unfortunate man, you must have made
quite a fool of him."
"His own fault if I did. But I like prosperous fellows, comfortable
fellows; fellows that talk comfortably and prosperously, like you. Such
fellows are generally honest. And, I say now, I happen to have a
superfluity in my pocket, and I'll just----"
"----Act the part of a brother to that unfortunate man?"
"Let the unfortunate man be his own brother. What are you dragging him
in for all the time? One would think you didn't care to register any
transfers, or dispose of any stock--mind running on something else. I
say I will invest."
"Stay, stay, here come some uproarious fellows--this way, this way."
And with off-handed politeness the man with the book escorted his
companion into a private little haven removed from the brawling swells
without.
Business transacted, the two came forth, and walked the deck.
"Now tell me, sir," said he with the book, "how comes it that a young
gentleman like you, a sedate student at the first appearance, should
dabble in stocks and that sort of thing?"
"There are certain sophomorean errors in the world," drawled the
sophomore, deliberately adjusting his shirt-collar, "not the least of
which is the popular notion touching the nature of the modern scholar,
and the nature of the modern scholastic sedateness."
"So it seems, so it seems. Really, this is quite a new leaf in my
experience."
"Experience, sir," originally observed the sophomore, "is the only
teacher."
"Hence am I your pupil; for it's only when experience speaks, that I can
endure to listen to speculation."
"My speculations, sir," dryly drawing himself up, "have been chiefly
governed by the maxim of Lord Bacon; I speculate in those philosophies
which come home to my business and bosom--pray, do you know of any other
good stocks?"
"You wouldn't like to be concerned in the New Jerusalem, would you?"
"New Jerusalem?"
"Yes, the new and thriving city, so called, in northern Minnesota. It
was originally founded by certain fugitive Mormons. Hence the name. It
stands on the Mississippi. Here, here is the map," producing a roll.
"There--there, you see are the public buildings--here the landing--there
the park--yonder the botanic gardens--and this, this little dot here, is
a perpetual fountain, you understand. You observe there are twenty
asterisks. Those are for the lyceums. They have lignum-vitae rostrums."
"And are all these buildings now standing?"
"All standing--bona fide."
"These marginal squares here, are they the water-lots?"
"Water-lots in the city of New Jerusalem? All terra firma--you don't
seem to care about investing, though?"
"Hardly think I should read my title clear, as the law students say,"
yawned the collegian.
"Prudent--you are prudent. Don't know that you are wholly out, either.
At any rate, I would rather have one of your shares of coal stock than
two of this other. Still, considering that the first settlement was by
two fugitives, who had swum over naked from the opposite shore--it's a
surprising place. It is, _bona fide_.--But dear me, I must go. Oh, if by
possibility you should come across that unfortunate man----"
"--In that case," with drawling impatience, "I will send for the
steward, and have him and his misfortunes consigned overboard."
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- Chunk 3