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- 2026-01-30T20:48:09.931Z
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- 10143
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- CHAPTER LXXIII.
At Last, The Last Mention Is Made Of Old Bardianna; And His Last Will
And Testament Is Recited At Length
The day was waning. And, as after many a tale of ghosts, around their
forest fire, Hungarian gipsies silent sit; watching the ruddy glow
kindling each other’s faces;—so, now we solemn sat; the crimson West
our fire; all our faces flushed.
“Testators!” then cried Media, when your last wills are all round
settled, speak, and make it known!”
“Mine, my lord, has long been fixed,” said Babbalanja.
“And how runs it?”
“Fugle-fogle—”
“Hark ye, intruding Azzageddi! rejoin thy merry mates below;—go there,
and wag thy saucy tail; or I will nail it to our bow, till ye roar for
liberation. Begone, I say.”
“Down, devil! deeper down!” rumbled Babbalanja.
“My lord, I think he’s gone. And now, by your good leave, I’ll repeat
old Bardianna’s Will. It’s worth all Mardi’s hearing; and I have so
studied it, by rote I know it.”
“Proceed then; but I mistrust that Azzageddi is not yet many thousand
fathoms down.”
“Attend my lord:—‘Anno Mardis 50,000,000, o.s. I, Bardianna, of the
island of Vamba, and village of the same name, having just risen from
my yams, in high health, high spirits, and sound mind, do hereby
cheerfully make and ordain this my last will and testament.
“‘Imprimis:
“‘All my kith and kin being well to do in Mardi, I wholly leave them
out of this my will.
“‘Item. Since, in divers ways, verbally and otherwise, my good friend
Pondo has evinced a strong love for me, Bardianna, as the owner and
proprietor of all that capital messuage with the appurtenances, in
Vamba aforesaid, called ‘The Lair,’ wherein I now dwell; also for all
my Bread-fruit orchards, Palm-groves, Banana-plantations, Taro-patches,
gardens, lawns, lanes, and hereditaments whatsoever, adjoining the
aforesaid messuage;—I do hereby give and bequeath the same to Bomblum
of the island of Adda; the aforesaid Bomblum having never expressed any
regard for me, as a holder of real estate.
“‘Item. My esteemed neighbor Lakreemo having since the last lunar
eclipse called daily to inquire after the state of my health: and
having nightly made tearful inquiries of my herb-doctor, concerning the
state of my viscera;—I do hereby give and bequeath to the aforesaid
Lakreemo all and sundry those vegetable pills, potions, powders,
aperients, purgatives, expellatives, evacuatives, tonics, emetics,
cathartics, clysters, injections, scarifiers, cataplasms, lenitives,
lotions, decoctions, washes, gargles, and phlegmagogues; together with
all the jars, calabashes, gourds, and galipots, thereunto pertaining;
situate, lying, and being, in the west-by-north corner of my
east-southeast crypt, in my aforesaid tenement known as ‘The Lair.’
“‘Item. The woman Pesti; a native of Vamba, having oftentimes hinted
that I, Bardianna, sorely needed a spouse, and having also intimated
that she bore me a conjugal affection; I do hereby give and bequeath to
the aforesaid Pesti:—my blessing; forasmuch, as by the time of the
opening of this my last will and testament, I shall have been forever
delivered from the aforesaid Pesti’s persecutions.
“‘Item. Having a high opinion of the probity of my worthy and excellent
friend Bidiri, I do hereby entirely, and wholly, give, will, grant,
bestow, devise, and utterly hand over unto the said Bidiri, all that
tenement where my servant Oram now dwelleth; with all the lawns,
meadows, uplands and lowlands, fields, groves, and gardens, thereunto
belonging:—IN TRUST NEVERTHELESS to have and to hold the same for the
sole use and benefit of Lanbranka Hohinna, spinster, now resident of
the aforesaid island of Vamba.
“‘Item. I give and bequeath my large carved drinking gourd to my good
comrade Topo.
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