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- 7288
- extracted_at
- 2026-01-30T20:48:09.927Z
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- 7221
- text
- “Somewhat curious, certainly,” said Media.—“But me-thinks, Babbalanja,
that somewhere I have heard something about organic functions, so
called; which may account for the phenomena you mention; and I have
heard too, me-thinks, of what are called reflex actions of the nerves,
which, duly considered, might deprive of its strangeness that story of
yours concerning Grande and his body.”
“Mere substitutions of sounds for inexplicable meanings, my lord. In
some things science cajoles us. Now, what is undeniable of the Polyp
some physiologists analogically maintain with regard to us Mardians;
that forasmuch, as the lining of our interiors is nothing more than a
continuation of the epidermis, or scarf-skin, therefore, that in a
remote age, we too must have been turned wrong side out: an hypothesis,
which, indirectly might account for our moral perversities: and also,
for that otherwise nonsensical term—‘the coat of the stomach;’ for
originally it must have been a surtout, instead of an inner garment.”
“Pray, Azzageddi,” said Media, “are you not a fool?”
“One of a jolly company, my lord; but some creatures besides wearing
their surtouts within, sport their skeletons without: witness the
lobster and turtle, who alive, study their own anatomies.”
“Azzageddi, you are a zany.”
“Pardon, my lord,” said Mohi, “I think him more of a lobster; it’s hard
telling his jaws from his claws.”
“Yes, Braid-Beard, I am a lobster, a mackerel, any thing you please;
but my ancestors were kangaroos, not monkeys, as old Boddo erroneously
opined. My idea is more susceptible of demonstration than his. Among
the deepest discovered land fossils, the relics of kangaroos are
discernible, but no relics of men. Hence, there were no giants in those
days; but on the contrary, kangaroos; and those kangaroos formed the
first edition of mankind, since revised and corrected.”
“What has become of our finises, or tails, then?” asked Mohi, wriggling
in his seat.
“The old question, Mohi. But where are the tails of the tadpoles, after
their gradual metamorphosis into frogs? Have frogs any tails, old man?
Our tails, Mohi, were worn off by the process of civilization;
especially at the period when our fathers began to adopt the sitting
posture: the fundamental evidence of all civilization, for neither
apes, nor savages, can be said to sit; invariably, they squat on their
hams. Among barbarous tribes benches and settles are unknown. But, my
lord Media, as your liege and loving subject I can not sufficiently
deplore the deprivation of your royal tail. That stiff and vertebrated
member, as we find it in those rustic kinsmen we have disowned, would
have been useful as a supplement to your royal legs; and whereas my
good lord is now fain to totter on two stanchions, were he only a
kangaroo, like the monarchs of old, the majesty of Odo would be
dignified, by standing firm on a tripod.”
“A very witty conceit! But have a care, Azzageddi; your theory applies
not to me.”
“Babbalanja,” said Mohi, “you must be the last of the kangaroos.”
“I am, Mohi.”
“But the old fashioned pouch or purse of your grandams?” hinted Media.
“My lord, I take it, that must have been transferred; nowadays our sex
carries the purse.”
“Ha, ha!”
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