- end_line
- 6607
- extracted_at
- 2026-01-30T20:48:18.535Z
- extracted_by
- structure-extraction-lambda
- start_line
- 6532
- text
- “bulkheads,” “cofferdams,” “safeguards,” “noble charters,” “shields,”
and “paladiums,” “great and glorious birthrights,” and other
unintelligible gibberish.
Of the pursuivants, these worthies asked audience of Media.
“Go, kneel at the throne,” was the answer.
“Our knee-pans are stiff with sciatics,” was the rheumatic reply.
“An artifice to keep on your legs,” said the pursuivants.
And advancing they salamed, and told Media the excuse of those
sour-looking varlets. Whereupon my lord commanded them to down on their
marrow-bones instanter, either before him or the headsman, whichsoever
they pleased.
They preferred the former. And as they there kneeled, in vain did men
with sharp ears (who abound in all courts) prick their auriculars, to
list to that strange crackling and firing off of bone balls and
sockets, ever incident to the genuflections of rheumatic courtiers.
In a row, then, these selfsame knee-pans did kneel before the king; who
eyed them as eagles in air do goslings on dunghills; or hunters, hounds
crouching round their calves.
“Your prayer?” said Media.
It was a petition, that thereafter all differences between man and man
in Ode, together with all alleged offenses against the state, might be
tried by twelve good men and true. These twelve to be unobnoxious to
the party or parties concerned; their peers; and previously unbiased
touching the matter at issue. Furthermore, that unanimity in these
twelve should be indispensable to a verdict; and no dinner be
vouchsafed till unanimity came.
Loud and long laughed King Media in scorn.
“This be your judge,” he cried, swaying his scepter. “What! are twelve
wise men more wise than one? or will twelve fools, put together, make
one sage? Are twelve honest men more honest than one? or twelve knaves
less knavish than one? And if, of twelve men, three be fools, and three
wise, three knaves, and three upright, how obtain real unanimity from
such?
“But if twelve judges be better than one, then are twelve hundred
better than twelve. But take the whole populace for a judge, and you
will long wait for a unanimous verdict.
“If upon a thing dubious, there be little unanimity in the conflicting
opinions of one man’s mind, how expect it in the uproar of twelve
puzzled brains? though much unanimity be found in twelve hungry
stomachs.
“Judges unobnoxious to the accused! Apply it to a criminal case. Ha!
ha! if peradventure a Cacti be rejected, because he had seen the
accused commit the crime for which he is arraigned. Then, his mind
would be biased: no impartiality from him! Or your testy accused might
object to another, because of his tomahawk nose, or a cruel squint of
the eye.
“Of all follies the most foolish! Know ye from me, that true peers
render not true verdicts. Jiromo was a rebel. Had I tried him by his
peers, I had tried him by rebels; and the rebel had rebelled to some
purpose.
“Away! As unerring justice dwells in a unity, and as one judge will at
last judge the world beyond all appeal; so—though often here below
justice be hard to attain—does man come nearest the mark, when he
imitates that model divine. Hence, one judge is better than twelve.”
“And as Justice, in ideal, is ever painted high lifted above the crowd;
so, from the exaltation of his rank, an honest king is the best of
those unical judges, which individually are better than twelve. And
therefore am I, King Media, the best judge in this land.”
- title
- Chunk 2