- end_line
- 2864
- extracted_at
- 2026-01-30T20:48:52.918Z
- extracted_by
- structure-extraction-lambda
- start_line
- 2806
- text
- time vainly struggled with the incomprehensible power that possessed
him. Then, as he avertedly drew the letter from his bosom, he whispered
to himself--Out on thee, Pierre! how sheepish now will ye feel when this
tremendous note will turn out to be an invitation to a supper to-morrow
night; quick, fool, and write the stereotyped reply: Mr. Pierre
Glendinning will be very happy to accept Miss so and so's polite
invitation.
Still for the moment he held the letter averted. The messenger had so
hurriedly accosted him, and delivered his duty, that Pierre had not yet
so much as gained one glance at the superscription of the note. And now
the wild thought passed through his mind of what would be the result,
should he deliberately destroy the note, without so much as looking at
the hand that had addressed it. Hardly had this half-crazy conceit fully
made itself legible in his soul, when he was conscious of his two hands
meeting in the middle of the sundered note! He leapt from his chair--By
heaven! he murmured, unspeakably shocked at the intensity of that mood
which had caused him unwittingly as it were, to do for the first time in
his whole life, an act of which he was privately ashamed. Though the
mood that was on him was none of his own willful seeking; yet now he
swiftly felt conscious that he had perhaps a little encouraged it,
through that certain strange infatuation of fondness, which the human
mind, however vigorous, sometimes feels for any emotion at once novel
and mystical. Not willingly, at such times--never mind how fearful we
may be--do we try to dissolve the spell which seems, for the time, to
admit us, all astonished, into the vague vestibule of the spiritual
worlds.
Pierre now seemed distinctly to feel two antagonistic agencies within
him; one of which was just struggling into his consciousness, and each
of which was striving for the mastery; and between whose respective
final ascendencies, he thought he could perceive, though but shadowly,
that he himself was to be the only umpire. One bade him finish the
selfish destruction of the note; for in some dark way the reading of it
would irretrievably entangle his fate. The other bade him dismiss all
misgivings; not because there was no possible ground for them, but
because to dismiss them was the manlier part, never mind what might
betide. This good angel seemed mildly to say--Read, Pierre, though by
reading thou may'st entangle thyself, yet may'st thou thereby
disentangle others. Read, and feel that best blessedness which, with the
sense of all duties discharged, holds happiness indifferent. The bad
angel insinuatingly breathed--Read it not, dearest Pierre; but destroy
it, and be happy. Then, at the blast of his noble heart, the bad angel
shrunk up into nothingness; and the good one defined itself clearer and
more clear, and came nigher and more nigh to him, smiling sadly but
benignantly; while forth from the infinite distances wonderful harmonies
stole into his heart; so that every vein in him pulsed to some heavenly
swell.
V.
"The name at the end of this letter will be wholly strange to thee.
Hitherto my existence has been utterly unknown to thee. This letter will
touch thee and pain thee. Willingly would I spare thee, but I can not.
My heart bears me witness, that did I think that the suffering these
lines would give thee, would, in the faintest degree, compare with what
mine has been, I would forever withhold them.
- title
- Chunk 14