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- The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Confessions of St. Augustine
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Title: The Confessions of St. Augustine
Author: Saint of Hippo Augustine
Translator: E. B. Pusey
Release date: June 1, 2002 [eBook #3296]
Most recently updated: May 5, 2023
Language: English
Credits: Robert S. Munday
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE ***
THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT AUGUSTINE
By Saint Augustine
Bishop of Hippo
Translated by E. B. Pusey (Edward Bouverie)
AD 401
BOOK I
Great art Thou, O Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is Thy power,
and Thy wisdom infinite. And Thee would man praise; man, but a particle
of Thy creation; man, that bears about him his mortality, the witness of
his sin, the witness that Thou resistest the proud: yet would man praise
Thee; he, but a particle of Thy creation. Thou awakest us to delight in
Thy praise; for Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless,
until it repose in Thee. Grant me, Lord, to know and understand which is
first, to call on Thee or to praise Thee? and, again, to know Thee or
to call on Thee? for who can call on Thee, not knowing Thee? for he that
knoweth Thee not, may call on Thee as other than Thou art. Or, is it
rather, that we call on Thee that we may know Thee? but how shall they
call on Him in whom they have not believed? or how shall they believe
without a preacher? and they that seek the Lord shall praise Him: for
they that seek shall find Him, and they that find shall praise Him.
I will seek Thee, Lord, by calling on Thee; and will call on Thee,
believing in Thee; for to us hast Thou been preached. My faith, Lord,
shall call on Thee, which Thou hast given me, wherewith Thou hast
inspired me, through the Incarnation of Thy Son, through the ministry of
the Preacher.
And how shall I call upon my God, my God and Lord, since, when I call
for Him, I shall be calling Him to myself? and what room is there within
me, whither my God can come into me? whither can God come into me, God
who made heaven and earth? is there, indeed, O Lord my God, aught in me
that can contain Thee? do then heaven and earth, which Thou hast made,
and wherein Thou hast made me, contain Thee? or, because nothing which
exists could exist without Thee, doth therefore whatever exists contain
Thee? Since, then, I too exist, why do I seek that Thou shouldest enter
into me, who were not, wert Thou not in me? Why? because I am not gone
down in hell, and yet Thou art there also. For if I go down into hell,
Thou art there. I could not be then, O my God, could not be at all,
wert Thou not in me; or, rather, unless I were in Thee, of whom are all
things, by whom are all things, in whom are all things? Even so, Lord,
even so. Whither do I call Thee, since I am in Thee? or whence canst
Thou enter into me? for whither can I go beyond heaven and earth, that
thence my God should come into me, who hath said, I fill the heaven and
the earth.
Do the heaven and earth then contain Thee, since Thou fillest them? or
dost Thou fill them and yet overflow, since they do not contain Thee?
And whither, when the heaven and the earth are filled, pourest Thou
forth the remainder of Thyself? or hast Thou no need that aught contain
Thee, who containest all things, since what Thou fillest Thou fillest
by containing it? for the vessels which Thou fillest uphold Thee not,
since, though they were broken, Thou wert not poured out. And when Thou
art poured out on us, Thou art not cast down, but Thou upliftest us;
Thou art not dissipated, but Thou gatherest us. But Thou who fillest
all things, fillest Thou them with Thy whole self? or, since all things
cannot contain Thee wholly, do they contain part of Thee? and all at
once the same part? or each its own part, the greater more, the smaller
less? And is, then one part of Thee greater, another less? or, art Thou
wholly every where, while nothing contains Thee wholly?
What art Thou then, my God? what, but the Lord God? For who is Lord
but the Lord? or who is God save our God? Most highest, most good, most
potent, most omnipotent; most merciful, yet most just; most hidden,
yet most present; most beautiful, yet most strong, stable, yet
incomprehensible; unchangeable, yet all-changing; never new, never old;
all-renewing, and bringing age upon the proud, and they know it not;
ever working, ever at rest; still gathering, yet nothing lacking;
supporting, filling, and overspreading; creating, nourishing, and
maturing; seeking, yet having all things. Thou lovest, without passion;
art jealous, without anxiety; repentest, yet grievest not; art angry,
yet serene; changest Thy works, Thy purpose unchanged; receivest again
what Thou findest, yet didst never lose; never in need, yet rejoicing
in gains; never covetous, yet exacting usury. Thou receivest over and
above, that Thou mayest owe; and who hath aught that is not Thine? Thou
payest debts, owing nothing; remittest debts, losing nothing. And what
had I now said, my God, my life, my holy joy? or what saith any man when
he speaks of Thee? Yet woe to him that speaketh not, since mute are even
the most eloquent.
Oh! that I might repose on Thee! Oh! that Thou wouldest enter into my
heart, and inebriate it, that I may forget my ills, and embrace Thee,
my sole good! What art Thou to me? In Thy pity, teach me to utter it.
Or what am I to Thee that Thou demandest my love, and, if I give it not,
art wroth with me, and threatenest me with grievous woes? Is it then a
slight woe to love Thee not? Oh! for Thy mercies' sake, tell me, O Lord
my God, what Thou art unto me. Say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. So
speak, that I may hear. Behold, Lord, my heart is before Thee; open Thou
the ears thereof, and say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. After this
voice let me haste, and take hold on Thee. Hide not Thy face from me.
Let me die--lest I die--only let me see Thy face.
Narrow is the mansion of my soul; enlarge Thou it, that Thou mayest
enter in. It is ruinous; repair Thou it. It has that within which must
offend Thine eyes; I confess and know it. But who shall cleanse it? or
to whom should I cry, save Thee? Lord, cleanse me from my secret faults,
and spare Thy servant from the power of the enemy. I believe, and
therefore do I speak. Lord, Thou knowest. Have I not confessed against
myself my transgressions unto Thee, and Thou, my God, hast forgiven the
iniquity of my heart? I contend not in judgment with Thee, who art the
truth; I fear to deceive myself; lest mine iniquity lie unto itself.
Therefore I contend not in judgment with Thee; for if Thou, Lord,
shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall abide it?
Yet suffer me to speak unto Thy mercy, me, dust and ashes. Yet suffer me
to speak, since I speak to Thy mercy, and not to scornful man. Thou too,
perhaps, despisest me, yet wilt Thou return and have compassion upon me.
For what would I say, O Lord my God, but that I know not whence I
came into this dying life (shall I call it?) or living death. Then
immediately did the comforts of Thy compassion take me up, as I heard
(for I remember it not) from the parents of my flesh, out of whose
substance Thou didst sometime fashion me. Thus there received me the
comforts of woman's milk.