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- confessions
- text
- men; that it might be believed and sought inwardly, and found in
the eternal Verity; where the good and only Master teacheth all His
disciples. There, Lord, hear I Thy voice speaking unto me; because He
speaketh us, who teacheth us; but He that teacheth us not, though
He speaketh, to us He speaketh not. Who now teacheth us, but the
unchangeable Truth? for even when we are admonished through a changeable
creature; we are but led to the unchangeable Truth; where we learn
truly, while we stand and hear Him, and rejoice greatly because of the
Bridegroom's voice, restoring us to Him, from Whom we are. And therefore
the Beginning, because unless It abided, there should not, when we
went astray, be whither to return. But when we return from error, it is
through knowing; and that we may know, He teacheth us, because He is the
Beginning, and speaking unto us.
In this Beginning, O God, hast Thou made heaven and earth, in Thy
Word, in Thy Son, in Thy Power, in Thy Wisdom, in Thy Truth; wondrously
speaking, and wondrously making. Who shall comprehend? Who declare
it? What is that which gleams through me, and strikes my heart without
hurting it; and I shudder and kindle? I shudder, inasmuch as I am unlike
it; I kindle, inasmuch as I am like it. It is Wisdom, Wisdom's self
which gleameth through me; severing my cloudiness which yet again
mantles over me, fainting from it, through the darkness which for my
punishment gathers upon me. For my strength is brought down in need,
so that I cannot support my blessings, till Thou, Lord, Who hast been
gracious to all mine iniquities, shalt heal all my infirmities. For
Thou shalt also redeem my life from corruption, and crown me with loving
kindness and tender mercies, and shalt satisfy my desire with good
things, because my youth shall be renewed like an eagle's. For in hope
we are saved, wherefore we through patience wait for Thy promises. Let
him that is able, hear Thee inwardly discoursing out of Thy oracle: I
will boldly cry out, How wonderful are Thy works, O Lord, in Wisdom
hast Thou made them all; and this Wisdom is the Beginning, and in that
Beginning didst Thou make heaven and earth.
Lo, are they not full of their old leaven, who say to us, "What was
God doing before He made heaven and earth? For if (say they) He were
unemployed and wrought not, why does He not also henceforth, and for
ever, as He did heretofore? For did any new motion arise in God, and a
new will to make a creature, which He had never before made, how then
would that be a true eternity, where there ariseth a will, which was
not? For the will of God is not a creature, but before the creature;
seeing nothing could be created, unless the will of the Creator had
preceded. The will of God then belongeth to His very Substance. And
if aught have arisen in God's Substance, which before was not, that
Substance cannot be truly called eternal. But if the will of God has
been from eternity that the creature should be, why was not the creature
also from eternity?"
Who speak thus, do not yet understand Thee, O Wisdom of God, Light of
souls, understand not yet how the things be made, which by Thee, and
in Thee are made: yet they strive to comprehend things eternal, whilst
their heart fluttereth between the motions of things past and to come,
and is still unstable. Who shall hold it, and fix it, that it be settled
awhile, and awhile catch the glory of that ever-fixed Eternity, and
compare it with the times which are never fixed, and see that it cannot
be compared; and that a long time cannot become long, but out of many
motions passing by, which cannot be prolonged altogether; but that in
the Eternal nothing passeth, but the whole is present; whereas no time
is all at once present: and that all time past, is driven on by time to
come, and all to come followeth upon the past; and all past and to come,
is created, and flows out of that which is ever present? Who shall hold
the heart of man, that it may stand still, and see how eternity ever
still-standing, neither past nor to come, uttereth the times past and to
come? Can my hand do this, or the hand of my mouth by speech bring about
a thing so great?
See, I answer him that asketh, "What did God before He made heaven and
earth?" I answer not as one is said to have done merrily (eluding the
pressure of the question), "He was preparing hell (saith he) for pryers
into mysteries." It is one thing to answer enquiries, another to make
sport of enquirers. So I answer not; for rather had I answer, "I know
not," what I know not, than so as to raise a laugh at him who asketh
deep things and gain praise for one who answereth false things. But I
say that Thou, our God, art the Creator of every creature: and if by
the name "heaven and earth," every creature be understood; I boldly say,
"that before God made heaven and earth, He did not make any thing." For
if He made, what did He make but a creature? And would I knew whatsoever
I desire to know to my profit, as I know, that no creature was made,
before there was made any creature.
But if any excursive brain rove over the images of forepassed times, and
wonder that Thou the God Almighty and All-creating and All-supporting,
Maker of heaven and earth, didst for innumerable ages forbear from so
great a work, before Thou wouldest make it; let him awake and consider,
that he wonders at false conceits. For whence could innumerable ages
pass by, which Thou madest not, Thou the Author and Creator of all
ages? or what times should there be, which were not made by Thee? or
how should they pass by, if they never were? Seeing then Thou art the
Creator of all times, if any time was before Thou madest heaven and
earth, why say they that Thou didst forego working? For that very time
didst Thou make, nor could times pass by, before Thou madest those
times. But if before heaven and earth there was no time, why is it
demanded, what Thou then didst? For there was no "then," when there was
no time.
Nor dost Thou by time, precede time: else shouldest Thou not precede
all times. But Thou precedest all things past, by the sublimity of
an ever-present eternity; and surpassest all future because they are
future, and when they come, they shall be past; but Thou art the Same,
and Thy years fail not. Thy years neither come nor go; whereas ours both
come and go, that they all may come. Thy years stand together, because
they do stand; nor are departing thrust out by coming years, for they
pass not away; but ours shall all be, when they shall no more be. Thy
years are one day; and Thy day is not daily, but To-day, seeing Thy
To-day gives not place unto tomorrow, for neither doth it replace
yesterday. Thy To-day, is Eternity; therefore didst Thou beget The
Coeternal, to whom Thou saidst, This day have I begotten Thee. Thou hast
made all things; and before all times Thou art: neither in any time was
time not.
At no time then hadst Thou not made any thing, because time itself Thou
madest. And no times are coeternal with Thee, because Thou abidest;
but if they abode, they should not be times. For what is time? Who can
readily and briefly explain this? Who can even in thought comprehend it,
so as to utter a word about it? But what in discourse do we mention more
familiarly and knowingly, than time? And, we understand, when we speak
of it; we understand also, when we hear it spoken of by another. What
then is time? If no one asks me, I know: if I wish to explain it to one
that asketh, I know not: yet I say boldly that I know, that if nothing
passed away, time past were not; and if nothing were coming, a time to
come were not; and if nothing were, time present were not. Those two
times then, past and to come, how are they, seeing the past now is
not, and that to come is not yet?