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- confessions
- text
- more and more cleared to me, I beseech Thee: and in the manifestation
thereof, let me with sobriety abide under Thy wings.
Thou hast told me also with a strong voice, in my inner ear, that
neither is that creature coeternal unto Thyself, whose happiness
Thou only art, and which with a most persevering purity, drawing its
nourishment from Thee, doth in no place and at no time put forth its
natural mutability; and, Thyself being ever present with it, unto Whom
with its whole affection it keeps itself, having neither future to
expect, nor conveying into the past what it remembereth, is neither
altered by any change, nor distracted into any times. O blessed
creature, if such there be, for cleaving unto Thy Blessedness; blest in
Thee, its eternal Inhabitant and its Enlightener! Nor do I find by what
name I may the rather call the heaven of heavens which is the Lord's,
than Thine house, which contemplateth Thy delights without any defection
of going forth to another; one pure mind, most harmoniously one, by that
settled estate of peace of holy spirits, the citizens of Thy city in
heavenly places; far above those heavenly places that we see.
By this may the soul, whose pilgrimage is made long and far away, by
this may she understand, if she now thirsts for Thee, if her tears be
now become her bread, while they daily say unto her, Where is Thy God?
if she now seeks of Thee one thing, and desireth it, that she may dwell
in Thy house all the days of her life (and what is her life, but Thou?
and what Thy days, but Thy eternity, as Thy years which fail not,
because Thou art ever the same?); by this then may the soul that is
able, understand how far Thou art, above all times, eternal; seeing
Thy house which at no time went into a far country, although it be not
coeternal with Thee, yet by continually and unfailingly cleaving unto
Thee, suffers no changeableness of times. This is in Thy sight clear
unto me, and let it be more and more cleared unto me, I beseech Thee,
and in the manifestation thereof, let me with sobriety abide under Thy
wings.
There is, behold, I know not what formlessness in those changes of these
last and lowest creatures; and who shall tell me (unless such a one as
through the emptiness of his own heart, wonders and tosses himself up
and down amid his own fancies?), who but such a one would tell me, that
if all figure be so wasted and consumed away, that there should only
remain that formlessness, through which the thing was changed and turned
from one figure to another, that that could exhibit the vicissitudes
of times? For plainly it could not, because, without the variety of
motions, there are no times: and no variety, where there is no figure.
These things considered, as much as Thou givest, O my God, as much
as Thou stirrest me up to knock, and as much as Thou openest to me
knocking, two things I find that Thou hast made, not within the compass
of time, neither of which is coeternal with Thee. One, which is so
formed, that without any ceasing of contemplation, without any interval
of change, though changeable, yet not changed, it may thoroughly enjoy
Thy eternity and unchangeableness; the other which was so formless,
that it had not that, which could be changed from one form into another,
whether of motion, or of repose, so as to become subject unto time. But
this Thou didst not leave thus formless, because before all days, Thou
in the Beginning didst create Heaven and Earth; the two things that I
spake of. But the Earth was invisible and without form, and darkness
was upon the deep. In which words, is the formlessness conveyed unto us
(that such capacities may hereby be drawn on by degrees, as are not
able to conceive an utter privation of all form, without yet coming to
nothing), out of which another Heaven might be created, together with
a visible and well-formed earth: and the waters diversly ordered, and
whatsoever further is in the formation of the world, recorded to have
been, not without days, created; and that, as being of such nature, that
the successive changes of times may take place in them, as being subject
to appointed alterations of motions and of forms.
This then is what I conceive, O my God, when I hear Thy Scripture
saying, In the beginning God made Heaven and Earth: and the Earth was
invisible and without form, and darkness was upon the deep, and not
mentioning what day Thou createdst them; this is what I conceive, that
because of the Heaven of heavens,--that intellectual Heaven, whose
Intelligences know all at once, not in part, not darkly, not through a
glass, but as a whole, in manifestation, face to face; not, this thing
now, and that thing anon; but (as I said) know all at once, without any
succession of times;--and because of the earth invisible and without
form, without any succession of times, which succession presents "this
thing now, that thing anon"; because where is no form, there is
no distinction of things:--it is, then, on account of these two, a
primitive formed, and a primitive formless; the one, heaven but the
Heaven of heaven, the other earth but the earth invisible and without
form; because of these two do I conceive, did Thy Scripture say without
mention of days, In the Beginning God created Heaven and Earth. For
forthwith it subjoined what earth it spake of; and also, in that the
Firmament is recorded to be created the second day, and called Heaven,
it conveys to us of which Heaven He before spake, without mention of
days.
Wondrous depth of Thy words! whose surface, behold! is before us,
inviting to little ones; yet are they a wondrous depth. O my God, a
wondrous depth! It is awful to look therein; an awfulness of honour, and
a trembling of love. The enemies thereof I hate vehemently; oh that Thou
wouldest slay them with Thy two-edged sword, that they might no longer
be enemies unto it: for so do I love to have them slain unto themselves,
that they may live unto Thee. But behold others not faultfinders, but
extollers of the book of Genesis; "The Spirit of God," say they, "Who
by His servant Moses wrote these things, would not have those words
thus understood; He would not have it understood, as thou sayest, but
otherwise, as we say." Unto Whom Thyself, O Thou God all, being judge,
do I thus answer.
"Will you affirm that to be false, which with a strong voice Truth tells
me in my inner ear, concerning the Eternity of the Creator, that His
substance is no ways changed by time, nor His will separate from His
substance? Wherefore He willeth not one thing now, another anon, but
once, and at once, and always, He willeth all things that He willeth;
not again and again, nor now this, now that; nor willeth afterwards,
what before He willed not, nor willeth not, what before He willed;
because such a will is and no mutable thing is eternal: but our God is
eternal. Again, what He tells me in my inner ear, the expectation of
things to come becomes sight, when they are come, and this same sight
becomes memory, when they be past. Now all thought which thus varies is
mutable; and no mutable thing is eternal: but our God is eternal." These
things I infer, and put together, and find that my God, the eternal God,
hath not upon any new will made any creature, nor doth His knowledge
admit of any thing transitory. "What will ye say then, O ye gainsayers?
Are these things false?" "No," they say; "What then? Is it false, that
every nature already formed, or matter capable of form, is not, but from
Him Who is supremely good, because He is supremely?" "Neither do we deny
this," say they. "What then?