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- confessions
- text
- Thyself art Thine own Blessedness.
What then could be wanting unto Thy good, which Thou Thyself art,
although these things had either never been, or remained without form;
which thou madest, not out of any want, but out of the fulness of Thy
goodness, restraining them and converting them to form, not as though
Thy joy were fulfilled by them? For to Thee being perfect, is their
imperfection displeasing, and hence were they perfected by Thee, and
please Thee; not as wert Thou imperfect, and by their perfecting wert
also to be perfected. For Thy good Spirit indeed was borne over the
waters, not borne up by them, as if He rested upon them. For those, on
whom Thy good Spirit is said to rest, He causes to rest in Himself. But
Thy incorruptible and unchangeable will, in itself all-sufficient for
itself, was borne upon that life which Thou hadst created; to which,
living is not one with happy living, seeing it liveth also, ebbing and
flowing in its own darkness: for which it remaineth to be converted unto
Him, by Whom it was made, and to live more and more by the fountain
of life, and in His light to see light, and to be perfected, and
enlightened, and beautified.
Lo, now the Trinity appears unto me in a glass darkly, which is Thou my
God, because Thou, O Father, in Him Who is the Beginning of our wisdom,
Which is Thy Wisdom, born of Thyself, equal unto Thee and coeternal,
that is, in Thy Son, createdst heaven and earth. Much now have we said
of the Heaven of heavens, and of the earth invisible and without form,
and of the darksome deep, in reference to the wandering instability of
its spiritual deformity, unless it had been converted unto Him, from
Whom it had its then degree of life, and by His enlightening became a
beauteous life, and the heaven of that heaven, which was afterwards
set between water and water. And under the name of God, I now held the
Father, who made these things, and under the name of Beginning, the Son,
in whom He made these things; and believing, as I did, my God as the
Trinity, I searched further in His holy words, and lo, Thy Spirit moved
upon the waters. Behold the Trinity, my God, Father, and Son, and Holy
Ghost, Creator of all creation.
But what was the cause, O true-speaking Light?--unto Thee lift I up my
heart, let it not teach me vanities, dispel its darkness; and tell me, I
beseech Thee, by our mother charity, tell me the reason, I beseech Thee,
why after the mention of heaven, and of the earth invisible and without
form, and darkness upon the deep, Thy Scripture should then at length
mention Thy Spirit? Was it because it was meet that the knowledge of Him
should be conveyed, as being "borne above"; and this could not be
said, unless that were first mentioned, over which Thy Spirit may
be understood to have been borne. For neither was He borne above the
Father, nor the Son, nor could He rightly be said to be borne above, if
He were borne over nothing. First then was that to be spoken of, over
which He might be borne; and then He, whom it was meet not otherwise to
be spoken of than as being borne. But wherefore was it not meet that
the knowledge of Him should be conveyed otherwise, than as being borne
above?
Hence let him that is able, follow with his understanding Thy Apostle,
where he thus speaks, Because Thy love is shed abroad in our hearts by
the Holy Ghost which is given unto us: and where concerning spiritual
gifts, he teacheth and showeth unto us a more excellent way of charity;
and where he bows his knee unto Thee for us, that we may know the
supereminent knowledge of the love of Christ. And therefore from the
beginning, was He borne supereminent above the waters. To whom shall I
speak this? how speak of the weight of evil desires, downwards to the
steep abyss; and how charity raises up again by Thy Spirit which was
borne above the waters? to whom shall I speak it? how speak it? For it
is not in space that we are merged and emerge. What can be more, and yet
what less like? They be affections, they be loves; the uncleanness
of our spirit flowing away downwards with the love of cares, and the
holiness of Thine raising us upward by love of unanxious repose; that
we may lift our hearts unto Thee, where Thy Spirit is borne above the
waters; and come to that supereminent repose, when our soul shall have
passed through the waters which yield no support.
Angels fell away, man's soul fell away, and thereby pointed the abyss in
that dark depth, ready for the whole spiritual creation, hadst not Thou
said from the beginning, Let there be light, and there had been light,
and every obedient intelligence of Thy heavenly City had cleaved to
Thee, and rested in Thy Spirit, Which is borne unchangeably over every
thing changeable. Otherwise, had even the heaven of heavens been in
itself a darksome deep; but now it is light in the Lord. For even in
that miserable restlessness of the spirits, who fell away and discovered
their own darkness, when bared of the clothing of Thy light, dost Thou
sufficiently reveal how noble Thou madest the reasonable creature; to
which nothing will suffice to yield a happy rest, less than Thee; and so
not even herself. For Thou, O our God, shalt lighten our darkness: from
Thee riseth our garment of light; and then shall our darkness be as
the noon day. Give Thyself unto me, O my God, restore Thyself unto me:
behold I love, and if it be too little, I would love more strongly. I
cannot measure so as to know, how much love there yet lacketh to me, ere
my life may run into Thy embracements, nor turn away, until it be hidden
in the hidden place of Thy Presence. This only I know, that woe is
me except in Thee: not only without but within myself also; and all
abundance, which is not my God, is emptiness to me.
But was not either the Father, or the Son, borne above the waters? if
this means, in space, like a body, then neither was the Holy Spirit;
but if the unchangeable supereminence of Divinity above all things
changeable, then were both Father, and Son, and Holy Ghost borne upon
the waters. Why then is this said of Thy Spirit only, why is it said
only of Him? As if He had been in place, Who is not in place, of Whom
only it is written, that He is Thy gift? In Thy Gift we rest; there we
enjoy Thee. Our rest is our place. Love lifts us up thither, and Thy
good Spirit lifts up our lowliness from the gates of death. In Thy good
pleasure is our peace. The body by its own weight strives towards its
own place. Weight makes not downward only, but to his own place. Fire
tends upward, a stone downward. They are urged by their own weight,
they seek their own places. Oil poured below water, is raised above the
water; water poured upon oil, sinks below the oil. They are urged by
their own weights to seek their own places. When out of their order,
they are restless; restored to order, they are at rest. My weight, is my
love; thereby am I borne, whithersoever I am borne. We are inflamed, by
Thy Gift we are kindled; and are carried upwards; we glow inwardly, and
go forwards. We ascend Thy ways that be in our heart, and sing a song of
degrees; we glow inwardly with Thy fire, with Thy good fire, and we go;
because we go upwards to the peace of Jerusalem: for gladdened was I in
those who said unto me, We will go up to the house of the Lord. There
hath Thy good pleasure placed us, that we may desire nothing else, but
to abide there for ever.
Blessed creature, which being itself other than Thou, has known no
other condition, than that, so soon as it was made, it was, without
any interval, by Thy Gift, Which is borne above every thing changeable,
borne aloft by that calling whereby Thou saidst, Let there be light, and
there was light. Whereas in us this took place at different times, in
that we were darkness, and are made light: but of that is only said,
what it would have been, had it not been enlightened.