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- pride-and-prejudice
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- who has been so fortunate as I have been, in early preferment; and, I
trust, I am resigned. Perhaps not the less so from feeling a doubt of my
positive happiness had my fair cousin honoured me with her hand; for I
have often observed, that resignation is never so perfect as when the
blessing denied begins to lose somewhat of its value in our estimation.
You will not, I hope, consider me as showing any disrespect to your
family, my dear madam, by thus withdrawing my pretensions to your
daughter’s favour, without having paid yourself and Mr. Bennet the
compliment of requesting you to interpose your authority in my behalf.
My conduct may, I fear, be objectionable in having accepted my
dismission from your daughter’s lips instead of your own; but we are all
liable to error. I have certainly meant well through the whole affair.
My object has been to secure an amiable companion for myself, with due
consideration for the advantage of all your family; and if my _manner_
has been at all reprehensible, I here beg leave to apologize.”
[Illustration]
CHAPTER XXI.
[Illustration]
The discussion of Mr. Collins’s offer was now nearly at an end, and
Elizabeth had only to suffer from the uncomfortable feelings necessarily
attending it, and occasionally from some peevish allusion of her mother.
As for the gentleman himself, _his_ feelings were chiefly expressed, not
by embarrassment or dejection, or by trying to avoid her, but by
stiffness of manner and resentful silence. He scarcely ever spoke to
her; and the assiduous attentions which he had been so sensible of
himself were transferred for the rest of the day to Miss Lucas, whose
civility in listening to him was a seasonable relief to them all, and
especially to her friend.
The morrow produced no abatement of Mrs. Bennet’s ill humour or ill
health. Mr. Collins was also in the same state of angry pride. Elizabeth
had hoped that his resentment might shorten his visit, but his plan did
not appear in the least affected by it. He was always to have gone on
Saturday, and to Saturday he still meant to stay.
After breakfast, the girls walked to Meryton, to inquire if Mr. Wickham
were returned, and to lament over his absence from the Netherfield ball.
He joined them on their entering the town, and attended them to their
aunt’s, where his regret and vexation and the concern of everybody were
well talked over. To Elizabeth, however, he voluntarily acknowledged
that the necessity of his absence _had_ been self-imposed.
“I found,” said he, “as the time drew near, that I had better not meet
Mr. Darcy;--that to be in the same room, the same party with him for so
many hours together, might be more than I could bear, and that scenes
might arise unpleasant to more than myself.”
She highly approved his forbearance; and they had leisure for a full
discussion of it, and for all the commendations which they civilly
bestowed on each other, as Wickham and another officer walked back with
them to Longbourn, and during the walk he particularly attended to her.
His accompanying them was a double advantage: she felt all the
compliment it offered to herself; and it was most acceptable as an
occasion of introducing him to her father and mother.
[Illustration: “Walked back with them”
[_Copyright 1894 by George Allen._]]
Soon after their return, a letter was delivered to Miss Bennet; it came
from Netherfield, and was opened immediately. The envelope contained a
sheet of elegant, little, hot-pressed paper, well covered with a lady’s
fair, flowing hand; and Elizabeth saw her sister’s countenance change as
she read it, and saw her dwelling intently on some particular passages.
Jane recollected herself soon; and putting the letter away, tried to
join, with her usual cheerfulness, in the general conversation: but
Elizabeth felt an anxiety on the subject which drew off her attention
even from Wickham; and no sooner had he and his companion taken leave,
than a glance from Jane invited her to follow her upstairs. When they
had gained their own room, Jane, taking out her letter, said, “This is
from Caroline Bingley: what it contains has surprised me a good deal.
The whole party have left Netherfield by this time, and are on their way
to town; and without any intention of coming back again. You shall hear
what she says.”
She then read the first sentence aloud, which comprised the information
of their having just resolved to follow their brother to town directly,
and of their meaning to dine that day in Grosvenor Street, where Mr.
Hurst had a house. The next was in these words:--“‘I do not pretend to
regret anything I shall leave in Hertfordshire except your society, my
dearest friend; but we will hope, at some future period, to enjoy many
returns of that delightful intercourse we have known, and in the
meanwhile may lessen the pain of separation by a very frequent and most
unreserved correspondence. I depend on you for that.’” To these
high-flown expressions Elizabeth listened with all the insensibility of
distrust; and though the suddenness of their removal surprised her, she
saw nothing in it really to lament: it was not to be supposed that their
absence from Netherfield would prevent Mr. Bingley’s being there; and as
to the loss of their society, she was persuaded that Jane must soon
cease to regard it in the enjoyment of his.
“It is unlucky,” said she, after a short pause, “that you should not be
able to see your friends before they leave the country. But may we not
hope that the period of future happiness, to which Miss Bingley looks
forward, may arrive earlier than she is aware, and that the delightful
intercourse you have known as friends will be renewed with yet greater
satisfaction as sisters? Mr. Bingley will not be detained in London by
them.”
“Caroline decidedly says that none of the party will return into
Hertfordshire this winter. I will read it to you.
“‘When my brother left us yesterday, he imagined that the business which
took him to London might be concluded in three or four days; but as we
are certain it cannot be so, and at the same time convinced that when
Charles gets to town he will be in no hurry to leave it again, we have
determined on following him thither, that he may not be obliged to spend
his vacant hours in a comfortless hotel. Many of my acquaintance are
already there for the winter: I wish I could hear that you, my dearest
friend, had any intention of making one in the crowd, but of that I
despair. I sincerely hope your Christmas in Hertfordshire may abound in
the gaieties which that season generally brings, and that your beaux
will be so numerous as to prevent your feeling the loss of the three of
whom we shall deprive you.’
“It is evident by this,” added Jane, “that he comes back no more this
winter.”
“It is only evident that Miss Bingley does not mean he _should_.”
“Why will you think so? It must be his own doing; he is his own master.
But you do not know _all_. I _will_ read you the passage which
particularly hurts me. I will have no reserves from _you_. ‘Mr. Darcy is
impatient to see his sister; and to confess the truth, _we_ are scarcely
less eager to meet her again. I really do not think Georgiana Darcy has
her equal for beauty, elegance, and accomplishments; and the affection
she inspires in Louisa and myself is heightened into something still
more interesting from the hope we dare to entertain of her being
hereafter our sister. I do not know whether I ever before mentioned to
you my feelings on this subject, but I will not leave the country
without confiding them, and I trust you will not esteem them
unreasonable.