- char_end
- 242405
- char_start
- 234901
- chunk_index
- 33
- chunk_total
- 89
- estimated_tokens
- 1876
- source_file_key
- confessions
- text
- professing that they were wise, they became fools.
And therefore did I read there also, that they had changed the glory of
Thy incorruptible nature into idols and divers shapes, into the likeness
of the image of corruptible man, and birds, and beasts, and creeping
things; namely, into that Egyptian food for which Esau lost his
birthright, for that Thy first-born people worshipped the head of a
four-footed beast instead of Thee; turning in heart back towards Egypt;
and bowing Thy image, their own soul, before the image of a calf that
eateth hay. These things found I here, but I fed not on them. For it
pleased Thee, O Lord, to take away the reproach of diminution from
Jacob, that the elder should serve the younger: and Thou calledst the
Gentiles into Thine inheritance. And I had come to Thee from among the
Gentiles; and I set my mind upon the gold which Thou willedst Thy people
to take from Egypt, seeing Thine it was, wheresoever it were. And to the
Athenians Thou saidst by Thy Apostle, that in Thee we live, move, and
have our being, as one of their own poets had said. And verily these
books came from thence. But I set not my mind on the idols of Egypt,
whom they served with Thy gold, who changed the truth of God into a lie,
and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator.
And being thence admonished to return to myself, I entered even into my
inward self, Thou being my Guide: and able I was, for Thou wert become
my Helper. And I entered and beheld with the eye of my soul (such as
it was), above the same eye of my soul, above my mind, the Light
Unchangeable. Not this ordinary light, which all flesh may look upon,
nor as it were a greater of the same kind, as though the brightness of
this should be manifold brighter, and with its greatness take up all
space. Not such was this light, but other, yea, far other from these.
Nor was it above my soul, as oil is above water, nor yet as heaven above
earth: but above to my soul, because It made me; and I below It, because
I was made by It. He that knows the Truth, knows what that Light is;
and he that knows It, knows eternity. Love knoweth it. O Truth Who art
Eternity! and Love Who art Truth! and Eternity Who art Love! Thou art
my God, to Thee do I sigh night and day. Thee when I first knew, Thou
liftedst me up, that I might see there was what I might see, and that I
was not yet such as to see. And Thou didst beat back the weakness of my
sight, streaming forth Thy beams of light upon me most strongly, and I
trembled with love and awe: and I perceived myself to be far off from
Thee, in the region of unlikeness, as if I heard this Thy voice from on
high: "I am the food of grown men, grow, and thou shalt feed upon Me;
nor shalt thou convert Me, like the food of thy flesh into thee, but
thou shalt be converted into Me." And I learned, that Thou for iniquity
chastenest man, and Thou madest my soul to consume away like a spider.
And I said, "Is Truth therefore nothing because it is not diffused
through space finite or infinite?" And Thou criedst to me from afar:
"Yet verily, I AM that I AM." And I heard, as the heart heareth, nor had
I room to doubt, and I should sooner doubt that I live than that Truth
is not, which is clearly seen, being understood by those things which
are made.
And I beheld the other things below Thee, and I perceived that they
neither altogether are, nor altogether are not, for they are, since
they are from Thee, but are not, because they are not what Thou art.
For that truly is which remains unchangeably. It is good then for me to
hold fast unto God; for if I remain not in Him, I cannot in myself; but
He remaining in Himself, reneweth all things. And Thou art the Lord my
God, since Thou standest not in need of my goodness.
And it was manifested unto me, that those things be good which yet are
corrupted; which neither were they sovereignly good, nor unless they
were good could be corrupted: for if sovereignly good, they were
incorruptible, if not good at all, there were nothing in them to be
corrupted. For corruption injures, but unless it diminished goodness, it
could not injure. Either then corruption injures not, which cannot be;
or which is most certain, all which is corrupted is deprived of good.
But if they be deprived of all good, they shall cease to be. For if they
shall be, and can now no longer be corrupted, they shall be better than
before, because they shall abide incorruptibly. And what more monstrous
than to affirm things to become better by losing all their good?
Therefore, if they shall be deprived of all good, they shall no longer
be. So long therefore as they are, they are good: therefore whatsoever
is, is good. That evil then which I sought, whence it is, is not any
substance: for were it a substance, it should be good. For either
it should be an incorruptible substance, and so a chief good: or
a corruptible substance; which unless it were good, could not be
corrupted. I perceived therefore, and it was manifested to me that Thou
madest all things good, nor is there any substance at all, which Thou
madest not; and for that Thou madest not all things equal, therefore are
all things; because each is good, and altogether very good, because our
God made all things very good.
And to Thee is nothing whatsoever evil: yea, not only to Thee, but also
to Thy creation as a whole, because there is nothing without, which may
break in, and corrupt that order which Thou hast appointed it. But in
the parts thereof some things, because unharmonising with other some,
are accounted evil: whereas those very things harmonise with others,
and are good; and in themselves are good. And all these things which
harmonise not together, do yet with the inferior part, which we call
Earth, having its own cloudy and windy sky harmonising with it. Far be
it then that I should say, "These things should not be": for should I
see nought but these, I should indeed long for the better; but still
must even for these alone praise Thee; for that Thou art to be praised,
do show from the earth, dragons, and all deeps, fire, hail, snow,
ice, and stormy wind, which fulfil Thy word; mountains, and all hills,
fruitful trees, and all cedars; beasts, and all cattle, creeping things,
and flying fowls; kings of the earth, and all people, princes, and all
judges of the earth; young men and maidens, old men and young, praise
Thy Name. But when, from heaven, these praise Thee, praise Thee, our
God, in the heights all Thy angels, all Thy hosts, sun and moon, all the
stars and light, the Heaven of heavens, and the waters that be above the
heavens, praise Thy Name; I did not now long for things better, because
I conceived of all: and with a sounder judgment I apprehended that the
things above were better than these below, but altogether better than
those above by themselves.
There is no soundness in them, whom aught of Thy creation displeaseth:
as neither in me, when much which Thou hast made, displeased me. And
because my soul durst not be displeased at my God, it would fain not
account that Thine, which displeased it. Hence it had gone into the
opinion of two substances, and had no rest, but talked idly. And
returning thence, it had made to itself a God, through infinite measures
of all space; and thought it to be Thee, and placed it in its heart;
and had again become the temple of its own idol, to Thee abominable.